𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐋. hq

〔2nd set〕: taiyaki

影山 飛雄
m i k i    k o i z u m i
— year 2 class 3 —

I was able to do many things. I knew a number of tactics when it came to games, and I knew a number of techniques when it came to volleyball. I could declare that I have a talent doing many other things, but small talk with Kozume Kenma was definitely not one of my fortes. Not to mention, alone time with him frightened the hell out of me.

Sure, we've been childhood friends and we hung out a lot. I've been to his house a dozen of times, we've talked about this and that, and there was many possible chances for me to open up to him. But that was exactly the problem. The more I opened up, the more at risk I was of admitting my feelings, and the more at risk we were of being misunderstood.

One example would be the first time I met Yamamoto, his club mate.

We were both freshmen that year, and Kuroo was having a good long talk with their captain so as a result, I was about to head home with Kenma alone. I didn't show my face in the club as frequently as I did now and so they never really knew I was their coach's relative.

"Yo, Kenma! Heading home with your girlfriend again?" Was the first thing I've ever heard from his team mate, and I could've sworn I almost spit the juice I was drinking because of his hasty comment.

Kenma, on the other hand, paused the game he was playing as he looked at Yamamoto. "What the—Quit it with the girlfriend thing. I told you, we're just childhood friends". That was the first time I've ever heard Kenma sound so irritated, despite the nonchalance in the tone of his voice.

All that said, even after knowing my relationship with their coach and even after knowing how Kuroo, Kenma and I were just childhood friends, Yamamoto never believed me saying that even if we weren't a thing right now it was bound to happen one day.

Right. As if.

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"Kenmaaa" I call unto him the next day after Kuro's good news. Class just ended and I couldn't wait to go home.

"Did you receive Kuroo's message?" I ask, to which he nods without averting his attention from the video game he was playing.

"So he won't be heading home with us from now on, huh?" I pout at the thought as the male try to assure me.

"It's just today" he tells me, looking me in the eye for a second. "It's not like they will go home together all the time".

"You never know" I tell him, placing a lollipop in my mouth as I take the seat in front of him. "If he enjoys this dating thing too much, we might never see him again, and we'll be stuck with just the two of us".

"That said" I add, "Can I come over to your house tonight? My parents will be home late".

"Okay. But you should really stop coming over too often" he says only for me to return another question.

"Why is that?".

"Because other people will misunderstand" he answers.

"What—" I was supposed to ask once more only to be cut off once I was called out of the classroom.

"Koizumi! Someone wants to talk to you" our classmate exclaims as she earns my attention.

"I'll be right back" I tell Kenma as I get out of my seat.

"No need" Kenma assures me, "I'll be heading to club".

"Then I'll wait for your club to end" I tell him to which he nods.

"Okay".

As I head towards the door, I give Kenma one last look before leaving with the person who called me out. He was a boy I befriended after volunteering to be part of the sports committee for the school's sports fest. I was really glad to tag along him and his friends that day, seeing as Kenma always skipped sports fest and Kuroo was a grade higher. I couldn't help but wonder what he has to say to me, today.

"Koizumi-san, are you—are you going out with Kozume-san?" He asks me, once we've arrived to the back of the buiding. I shake my head vigorously in return.

"Kenma? No, we're just childhood friends" I clarify the misunderstanding, earning a sigh of relief from the male.

"Then... Will you go out with me?" He asks, ultimately confessing, "I've liked you for awhile now, and I'd love to date someone like you—".

And I cut him off by saying "I'm so sorry".

And that was the end of that.

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The first time I realized I liked Kenma, it was a day just like this; when I was being confessed to by one of my friends for the very first time. Right then I realized, what was the point in telling someone you liked them, if you'll loose what you had in return?

Why ruin our friendship for my own selfish gains, when in fact, even if we did end up together, even if we did end up dating, the possibility of breaking up one day still existed. I would have ruined a perfectly good friendship if I messed this up one bit, and no matter what it was, that just scared me the most.

That was when it dawned upon me.

I liked Kenma to that extent. I liked Kenma to the point that I would so willingly hide my feelings if that'd mean he'd be happy.

Are you a masochist?, my subconscious must've asked me right then, because the next thing I knew I've already started imagining the first thing I dreaded.

Forget Kuroo, what if Kenma earns himself a girlfriend?

Could I keep smiling at her? Could I keep cheering him on? Could I wish them happiness to such an extent?

If Kozume Kenma were to love that someone who isn't me could we honestly keep the friendship we've established throughout the years?