The Somber Ninja Story

III. Epitome of Dead Ends

Part Three: Epitome of Dead Ends

I had done all I could for everyone I could find. Now, time was up and I had to get the hell out of here before the ways out were sealed off. I knew it would be stupid and foolish to just go plowing through them, so I put my driving skills to the test and weaved in and out of them as best I could. The ones I couldn't avoid hitting I slowed down. "Like a speed bump" I told myself. The path north was actually a lot of fun. I might have enjoyed it more if I wasn't in such a hurry...

Simone. Goddammit, Simone...Why do you have to be so far away? Over two thousand miles...seems like so long ago I did the research... Without taking any breaks other than what you'd need to re-fuel and replenish your caffeine and other sustenance, you could make the drive in just under forty-eight hours. Also depending on traffic conditions which, I figure, won't be too much of a problem now. I figure I'll head south, get through the Cascades into California then break east. It’s not exactly what online maps told me to do four years ago, but it'll do. Then I hit the freeway.

My mind went back to earlier in the morning, when I called Simone. All the action I had just seen seemed to slip away and there was nothing but the road and the phone call. My true level of insanity then occurred to me: a guy with no REAL training other than the games he used to play and the movies he'd seen just went through and did all of that like it was all in a day's work. I grinned then, for it was also just the way that I imagined it. But the heartache to come would certainly destroy me. I would drop my weapons. ...and it would all be over.

"How are operations?" I asked her.

"Going well. The old factories turned out to be a great place to set up base." she said calmly.

"Any sign of them yet?"

"Only a few have managed to make it through the mountains yet. At the rate that the first of them appeared in sight of the police riflemen, it seemed very possible that they may have missed a few. Everyone is on alert now though, so we should be able to keep things under control until they get here."

"That's not very good news."

"I know...how are things over there?"

"Well, everyone on Elk Lane is as safe as they're going to get. Greypa and I built the best defenses we could...all the trees are gone." I snickered. "Some of the mother fuckers out here, dude...LOADED with guns. It was crazy. I got the Desert Eagle!"

"What?! You'll shoot your eye out!!"

"Pssh, I'll shoot YOUR eye out!"

"Oh, I find that unlikely." Then there was silence for a moment. I was smiling. I was smiling, and I knew that she was too.

"I'm going to town soon. Aanndd...I'm pretty sure that this is the last time that I'll ever see my family...or my home."

"Why? Dying was never a part of your big plan for this..."

"Because..." Silence again for a moment. I sighed, heavily. "Just tell me one thing..."

"What...? Tell you what?"

"Tell me that you'll forgive me if I break my promise not to come for you."

"BENJAMIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I stomped my brake, geared down, and pulled my handbrake!! I plowed through them. I didn't come to a complete stop until I was in deep enough for them to close the gap from whence I came. I was so deep into thinking about the call that it didn't register soon enough that the ENTIRE freeway was jam-packed with the undead. Now they were all over my car and some were crushed and mangled beneath. It's hard to stop really fast when you're doing about one hundred thirty miles per hour.

My heart raced in my chest, my breath, panicked. Their faces were smashed up against all my windows. Peering in. My windows were tinted well enough...I had no doubt that I could remain undetected until I started driving again. I'm so glad I bought this car, the Neon probably would have bought it long before now but my engine was still running strong. They were confused...their dead eyes staring blankly at me through the dark glass. I could feel and hear movement from under my car. It was then that I knew that I had to figure out something and move off of them before they fucked up something with my car.

I subtly moved my right hand towards the cigarette lighter in the center console and my left for the pack in my pocket. I was mindful to catch and softly pull the lighter out before it popped and made a noise to attract them. I lit my cigarette calmly and began to think. I could continue forward and hope they began to thin out a little bit before driving over them completely fucked up my car. Puff, puff. Or I could still back out and find another way. Puff, puff. One of them banged on the hood of my car. The constant moan and groan got a little louder all around me. Puff, puff.

"Forward," I tell myself. "Speed bumps," I say. The grouchy speed bump bashed his arm into my hood again, another banged on the trunk. I turned on my CD player. It was hidden ninja, the song "stray dog, chews kids" pulsated its bass through my woofer, further aggravating the Horde. Puff, puff, puff!

I took off my seatbelt, popped my door open and pushed with all my might, knocking all of them down and knocking some over the other side of the center divider. I reached out and quickly shut the door. Puff, puff. One got up and roared with its face right against the glass, its eyes centered perfectly in the crack that I'd left down while I was driving. Puff, puff, then I jabbed it into his damn eye! He lurched back and roared once more and all the zombies began to sort of scream and yell. I put my car in gear, released the handbrake and began to move, my tires spinning wildly on undead flesh.

For awhile, it felt like a horribly rocky road. I thought my car would be okay, but then it started making funny noises. Fuck...no end in sight yet. Thirty minutes later, I knew my car was starting to struggle. I'd probably toppled over at least two thousand by now. I don't know how they managed to all get packed in on the freeway so tightly, but they did. There were thousands of them...WAY too many for this area of Oregon. Something else had to have been going on...

The sun was beginning to set. Soon I would be trapped with the undead in the pitch black of the Oregon countryside. Fuckfuckfuck...I was starting to panic. It was beginning to look like everyone might have been right...then BANG! I ran into something heavy enough to make me dead-stop from thirteen miles per hour. It was a school bus. Panicked, but alive eyes inside looked down at my car, covered almost completely in coagulated blood and rotten innards.

Well...perhaps I would not die this day...

I laid back both the seats in my car, unsheathed my blades, and straddled the middle console. FUCK!! I really didn't want to ditch my car...and I REALLY didn't want to have to do what I did next before I left it.

I took a deep breath and began stabbing through the roof. I stabbed and twisted and stabbed and ripped until I could hop up through the roof. I quickly sheathed my "Demise" and swung "Chaos" hard through the roof opening it wide. I pulled the sword from the mangled metal and jumped out on the roof, slashing at the zombies at both sides. A hand caught my ankle but I quickly severed it, ran down the hood and jumped up, grabbing the roof of the bus and pulling myself to "safety."

"How about THAT, mother fuckers!?" I shouted down to them. They wailed and screamed up at me, pounding on the bus now. I stood and sheathed my "Chaos," the walked over to one of the roof Emergency hatch closest to the driver's seat. The other hatch had a lot of dried blood on it. I grabbed the other, cleaner handle, closed my eyes and whispered: "Let this go over smoothly...please let this go over well...I HAVE to get there...” then I pulled the hatch open and hopped down.