Do you ever feel like being separated from yourself? Like you want to be no where near yourself because you know your a bad influence to you? You're trying to make people happy, cover it up with jokes and memes, but it really hurts. It hurts your head, your heart, your soul.
You wish that you didn't exist. You want to die, but not so you can go to heaven and get better. So that nothing will happen. It will all be over and you won't have to deal with it. You won't have to deal with yourself.
But, there's more than just yourself. And you know it. You don't really want to talk about it, because it seems suspicious. Like you want attention. So you keep it where most people won't see it. And you hope it stays that way. You don't want attention. It will make things worse. You just want to kill yourself.
I've always wanted to drown to death. It seems peaceful. I have my death planned out, it seems like a pretty good idea. One night, I'll sneak out. There will be a large cliff or ledge that is possible to jump off of. Hmm, actually now that I think about that, I know a place where I could do it. It wouldn't work out though. I'll have my suicide note ready, it will be long. I'll talk to them/myself for a long time, before I jump off. When I'm ready, I'll simply jump off. I won't flail, or scream, or hold my breath, I'll just sink. All the way to the bottom. Until I die.
It's generic, I know. You've seen this so many times with so many different people. Nothing to worry about. They're usually fine. But then again, you can't trust me. I lie all of the time. I feel no guilt. It feels fine. I don't have any regrets whatsoever. I don't know why people say that they don't like lying. I love it.
I'm sure that some of you have read my previous "chapters." I would explain them, but I don't want to. No one would get it. No one would believe me. I don't trust most people. Well, at least, in real life. The last time I talked to someone in real life about my depression, they almost sent me to a mental institution and the cops came. After that my parents came, took me home because they wouldn't let me go, yelled at me for a long time, and grounded me.
Welp, it was nice talking to you. I don't really feel anything right now. No emotions. No emotions. None at all. Bye.
