Affliction - Book One - Man x Man

Chapter 33 (M)

Alpha stares at me, bewildered in my audacity to speak against him so bluntly, to ask such an abrupt question. "Is now really the time for this?"

 I can tell he wants to pull away but I'm strategic and I've pinned him here. "It's never the time for it. We could die at any moment. " I press closer to him to prevent any hope of escape. If I want this to happen, I have to assure that this part falls into place. If he could leave me, if he no longer needed me, what would become of my people?

 He exhales in frustration at me but I can see my favorite look is coming back. He's irritated but amused at my games. I need Verando right now; I can't deal with Alpha just yet. I wait patiently, like a child waiting for a story. Dawning my best look of innocence, I curl into him, nuzzling my face against his neck with an airy inhale.

The effect I have on him is visible, never before have I been able to bend a man to my will in such a way. I was not good at flirting, only offering my services in blunt exchange. This was new territory for me, to seduce and manipulate this man who seemed quite smitten with me in rare moments. "It's possible." He allows, not looking at me.

 I grin against his skin. Anyone else would be upset by the insincerity of it. But it is his way, as it is mine. I find that I'm grateful for the admittance, I don't know if I could handle the full-blown confession right now. 

I think of the time with Haryek, with my instructors, and with my one boyfriend. It never clicked, we never matched up. But with him, with Verando, I don't feel so broken. I need to feel dominated but I also need to feel like an equal. I lean back and reach up to touch his face. To brush my knuckles over his stubbled jaw, admiring his full lips and his tanned skin, I swallow back the bravery I had had just moments ago.

 Watching his tired eyes; his tangle of gray locks is almost past his jaw bone, I can't fathom what he'd do to me if he found out I was vying for my people's protection just as he was. Perhaps he'd be impressed, it seemed I could never fully predict how he would feel. It distracts me, pulling me away from those deep eyes. 

"Are you going to stare at me like this for the rest of the night? I can take it back you know." He breaks the silence, not much of a romantic. I make a face at him, marveling in our similarities. A dictator and a fallen monk.

Clearing my throat, I straighten."Way to kill a moment." Standing, I take the time to pull off my clothes and fold them as clean clothes are hard to come by. He observes me, for, of course, he's already naked. I glance over my shoulder. "Do you mind?" I chastise him, yet I stand before him unshamed as he drinks me in.

"Not at all, keep going."

How is it we go from war, to a death ceremony, to this? Maybe it's because we've missed each other and this is an easy distraction. Sex has always been how I cope, how I survive. I slowly roll out of my pants, allowing my hips to follow the sway as I slide them down my legs. I bite my lower lip as I meet his eyes before stepping out of them and gathering them to fold them. "Better?" I ask but he's gone. 

I startle as I realize he's in front of me.

"Much." He mutters. 

 I toss my pants onto a chair and avoid his lips, teasing him, for I need a distraction, too. My intentions were all wrong, I was supposed to be seducing him, not falling back into the comfortable steps of this playful redirect. "So, do you want to go to Valhalla?" I inquire, circling him as my hands find his shoulders and I wind around him. Kneading carefully with my palms, his muscles ripple under my hungry fingers and I wet my lips at the thought of tasting that freshly cleaned flesh.

"Of course." His tone is sarcastic, he's annoyed with me. But I can still hear the hint of amusement; I know I'm safe for now. 

"Adriam said you can't get in. Because you like men." I tempt him, I'm either going to get what I need or get what I want. One hand slides up and I trail my fingers across his scalp as I tangle in his hair. I'm rewarded with a growl, it brings a shudder down my spine and I breathe out through my teeth in response.