Affliction - Book One - Man x Man

Chapter 24

Haryek wastes no time in pulling me from group to group; announcing my alliance. It's difficult to see why this comes as a surprise to anyone. 

I love him. Don't I?

The whole concept still feels so strange to me. Are they judging me because they didn't suspect I'd be with a man? Or because I'm not good enough to be next to this perfect being? I glance at Haryek and frown, feeling inadequate and nauseous all at once. There was an entire portion of our lives together that was vacant, an empty void of voices, and nothing more. The familiarity of this kind of emotional connection would surely come from years of companionship. Yet, I could remember nothing.

Visions of our one night together flicker before my mind, I stabilize myself, pressing my palm to my temple as I try and make sense of the jumbled emotions. There's a veil over the memory, shimmering as my body reacts to the thought, yet it feels incomplete. I shake my head, focusing on the object of my obsession as Haryek explains my alliance to the local police force.

"We will begin the search tomorrow, it's time to put an end to this murderous cycle. We can no longer tolerate lycan activity in our country." Haryek commands, earning a timid nod from the police chief. The group around us cheers, it would seem the patrons of the rebellion were the only ones happy about this news. My own joy was sullied, I didn't want to confront the lycan horde any more than they did. 

 I pull my lips into a thin line, my thoughts warp until my eyes settle on Haryek, and then all at once, everything feels right with the world if only for a moment. 

I must remind myself that I'm in love with him, as that's what my inner self commands me to do. We make our way towards dinner and the more conversations I have, the more I feel as though I'm not fooling anyone. 

How are we going to capture Alpha?

 I sit down with Haryek and I suspect I must be starving because the beginning of this morning refuses to register in my mind. Nibbling on fruit and avoiding any of the meat products, I watch wearily as metalsmiths forge new weapons in the hollowed outbuildings that were once homes. What should enrage me only proceeds to make me feel exhausted and I sag down onto my elbow. "Weapons, Haryek?"

The elf dismisses me with a casual wave. "We must protect ourselves, when is there a better time than when one is hunting an animal?"

The sharp pain aches in my chest. I shoved my plate away, pressing the back of my hand to my lips as I stifle a heave of my stomach. As a prince, I've been taught to conduct myself. I feel like I'm in the middle of war negotiations, not talking to the man I'm so desperately in love with. "What are we going to do with Alpha once we have a hold of him?" I need to hear that there is a plan, 50 rebels don't stand a chance against a lycan army but maybe he will come willingly?

"Well, if I had my way I would have him executed for the murder of your family." He shrugs as he bites an apple. The crisp sound of the bite into the fruit snaps into me and all over again I'm watching my father's death. I see, before me, the wolf, and as the sting of juice runs down Haryek's chin all I can see if blood. I hear my father, laughing. 

Dying.

 My mother screaming and crying.

He takes another bite, I register that he's talking but it sounds as if I'm underwater. My mother dies in front of me as the memory fades back into the haze. Instinctively, I slip closer to him, wanting the warmth in my chilled form. I feel as though I am dying. My body refuses to warm itself, I feel like a reanimated corpse.

"Nicolas." She's speaking to me but I know this isn't real. In her death, she had no words for me. "Nicolas!" I hear it louder this time; I'm being pulled out of the water. Someone is gasping for air, is someone drowning with me? The breathing sounds like a snarl, the wolf is in front of me and his fangs are bared. They drip blood red.