That boy broke my heart • xxxtentacion

Chapter 19

I woke up to my phone ringing , and ringing . I ignored it the first 300 times so why the fuck did they keep calling .

I grabbed it and answered it without even looking who it was

"What" I groaned into the speaker

"Well hey princess haha did I wake you up ?"
Jahseh giggled on the other line

"Shit my bad jah , I didn't know-"
"It's fine baby . Want me to take you to go see Bam ?"

I had my own car , but maybe he wanted to go .

"Yes sure . I'll be up and ready in an hour"
"Okay I'll be leaving soon . See you . Love you"
He hung up before I could say I love you back

What an ass

I kicked off my covers and got out of bed . I put on leggings and a sweatshirt .

It took me 10 minutes to decide if I wanted to put on makeup .

I decided to put on a little bit

I got out my brushes , mascara , eyeshadow , primer & concealer

I accidentally put on my moms concealer so now I looked like trump with my orange ass skin.

I washed that shit off .

Fuck that I don't have time I'll just put on mascara and eyeshadow.

I lightly curled my hair and put it in a half ponytail and half down .

I grabbed my purse and sat outside waiting for Jahseh .

I got out my phone and scrolled through Instagram .
Sometimes I hated social media
Because it was nothing ever new , and I used to waste all my time on it .

I saw Jahseh pull up .
I smiled at him through his tinted windows and  walked towards his car . He leaned over his seat and opened my door

"Hi beautiful"
He smiled
"Hi honey"

We acted just like a couple
Even though we aren't
Atleast i think we aren't .

He plugged the aux into his phone and played Chris brown

Was he like
Trying to throw hints or something
Because I'm slow as fuck and never get those things

I was nervous to see bam . It had been a week and I felt like a bitch not seeing him earlier , because I know if it had been me he'd come every single day .

"You don't think he'll be mad do you ?"
"Mad ?"
"Yeah , that we didn't come see him earlier ?"
"No no baby , he won't . He'll be glad we came at all . Trust me"

Jahseh put his hand on my knee and smiled
He moved it up to my thigh
Slowly
And he kept it there .

He parked close to the hospital entrance

He kept his arms around me as we walked in .

I remember mom saying something about 2304
That was upstairs .

Jahseh pushed the elevator button and we waited awkwardly

When the elevator came down and opened there was a 45 year old woman and her husband I guess .

We walked in and stood in the far corner

I heard the woman whispering to her husband

Damn even strangers talk shit about me .

Jahseh wrapped his hand around mine .
We walked out on the third floor

We swerved around walls and nurses as we searched for bam's room .

We finally found the room after 10 minutes of looking .
We stood there before we opened the door
My heart was racing
I was absolutely terrified .

Jahseh looked at me and then reached for the door but stopped midway and looked back at me .

I nodded .

It's like he could always tell how I was feeling or what I was thinking . I loved that .

He opened the door
I slowly walked in
Jahseh put his hand around the curtain and pulled it slowly
I stood behind him like a child behind their parent .

There he was . Laying there , half of his face was purple , it was covered in cuts , he had a bunch of those little white pads with wires all over his head and chest . He had bandaging around parts of his face and body and his eyes were closed . He was in a coma .

He didn't look like himself
Not at all

I felt my eyes get watery and that tingly feeling in your nose when you're about to cry

I put my hands over half of my face and walked towards his bed

I put my hand on his face and crawled onto the bed

I lost i there
I was crying like the biggest bitch .

I had to keep wiping his and my own face because my tears kept falling onto him

I held him and cried

I felt Jahsehs hand touch my shoulder
He rubbed my back

I cried even more

I cry a lot holy shit

How could someone to this to another person
How could someone beat another person almost completely lifeless .

I don't get it , I don't get what he did wrong . Why couldn't her dumbass just fight me . Why ?

I layed there with bam talking to him about all the things that has happened in the past week , things we did when we were younger , how much we all missed him and how he needs to come home .

After about an hour and a half jahseh touched my hand
"Come on baby , lets go home"
I nodded my head and wiped my tears
He lifted me off the bed and we walked to the door . At the last second I told Jahseh I wanted to say another goodbye .

I turned around and there he was
Looking at me

It felt like the happy ending to a movie .
But it was also sad because , now he's conscious of everything going on around him , he can feel the pain again .
And the loneliess .

I ran to him and crawled up on his bed
I put my hand on the other side of his face
He couldn't move anything other than his eyes

He looked at me
And I saw that he was crying , tears came rolling down his cheeks
I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces .

And now I was crying too .
I mean like , I was bawling my eyes out .

I laid my head on his chest and just cried . My throat and chest were so sore from crying so much .

I looked back up at him . His left eye had trauma to it , so it looked like it was bleeding . But his other eye was fine , but it had became red from crying .

I wiped away his tears
"I love you , so much"

I felt Jahseh grab my hand . He stood there holding it . Rubbing his thumb back and forth on my hand .

Jahseh was one of the biggest people in my life to support me . No matter what happened he always had me .
He was always by my side .

This chapter is superrrr long and emotional lmao sorryyy . Also happy birthday stokeley !! (Ski mask) 💘💘💘 also I think you guys will love the next chapter ❤️❤️