Another side of anxiety

Logans promiss

(WARNING THIS CHAPTER TALKS ABOUT DEPRESSION CUTTING AND THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE IF YOU PROCEED REMEMBER YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)

Anxiety's POV
I was laying down as Thomas was at the party god I just - why do they hate me I'm just looking out for Thomas like the rest of them but noooooo I'm the - I felt tears roll down my checks as I thought about what Roman always calls me the .....bad guy more tears ran down my face I paused my music to try to calm down my mind and relax a bit when all the sudden I heard people talking. Shit there back early I ran to my bathroom and cleaned up my face with my eyeshadow so my eyes weren't as red. I ran down stairs and stood there and looked at everyone "when did you all get home?" Thomas looked me dead in the eyes and shook his head "hey anx... um weren't we just at the part- never mind how you doing anxiety?" WAIT did he just ask how I am doi- Wait he probably doesn't even care I shrugged "I'm fine" he nodded then they started talking about the party god this felt awkward I went to look at logic but he was gone haha nice even he duc- quack- FUCK god damn mind I decided if one of the more important traits can sink out then so can I so I went to my room.
     I fell on my bed and listened to my music why do those three hate me so much I try my god damn hardest to do good and fit in ~its cause your worthless and dumb why would they care about someone as useless and pointless like you your not needed they wouldn't even care if you died~ the voice in my head spoke venomous words I looked at my night stand maybe it won't hurt to um just cut a few more times I sigh as I sit up

Logan's POV
Hmmm there's something up with anxiety now normally I don't snoop but this will be my one exemption I walked up to his doo- Wait what am I doing I sigh I should respect his privacy I walk to my room and forcefully summon him I'm shocked at what I see.
    Anxiety had a razor on his wrist and tears streaming down his face I gasp anxiety falls to the floor as he notices he's no longer in his room "wha where am I?" I just stare at anxiety's arm he has scares and new cuts everywhere look up into anxiety's eyes he looks so scared "p-please please please Logan please can can you keep this a secret from the others?" He's on his knees in front of me god I don't lik- I'm not good with emotions I can only nod he continues to cry as he sinks back to his room. What have I done maybe it's best if I don't snoop around.

Anxiety POV

       I sunk back into my room and that's when the voices started
~ see he doesn't care about you if he did he would have tried to help you did you see the look of disgust he gave you and then joy when he saw you cutting hehehe seeeee they don't care about you just keep cutting they don't care they will never care they wouldn't even care that you killed yourself not even Patton would care~ I had my hands over my ears crying my eyes out but something the voice said got me it made me want to kill myself ~you would make Thomas's life sooo much better if you weren't around remember when Thomas took you to meet that woman to try to get rid of you he doesn't want you he hates you no one likes you especially not Roman he hates you and would never return your feelings he wouldn't even care if you died he'll he would even be happy you were gone~ i began to sob more and more I looked at the razor and then at my closet i know I have some rope in there and I kn- I take a deep breath- I know how tie a nose I get up from off the floor as I drop the razor and walk towards my closet everything goes numb there's this tiny voice in the back of my mind saying stop turn back you don't have to do this and for a moment I listen I try to stop but it's to late I'm numb and there's nothing that can stop me