Untitled

The Divorce

After being nothing but loyal to a no good ass man for 7 years our marriage is finally over. Honestly I can't tell you why I stayed an additional year. Maybe it was the little part of me that thought he would change. Maybe he would see it my way, see all the pain he put me through and the restless nights. The crying and the sad music stuck on reply the snotty tissues on our night stand but he never did. NOTHING changed but the way he lied and the stupid looks he gave me when I asked him about it. At that point I knew that the faith I still held onto for us had to die completely. Going through with this process I had to remain strong and show no emotion. I couldn't let it be shown that I still loved him then what would be the point of divorce? They would only suggest marriage counseling or a therapist. I could still remember the day I said I wanted a divorce like it was yesterday. I can still remember that whole conversation we had that lasted longer than any other one we've ever had. He walked in the house one night with his shirt half undone and his belt loose not holding on to anything. When he saw me he tried to straighten up but I'd already seen him. " Hey, I didn't think you'd be up this late " he said. It's only 10:30pm why wouldn't I be? The puzzled look of stupidity formed on his face so quickly. " Your wearing lipstick? I didn't know you were into stuff like that " I said being sarcastic waiting for his response. He never said anything he just stood there holding the wall up and scratching the same spot on his head. when will this end Jamie? When will the lies end? " Baby I'm sorry she means nothing to me I want.. I need you " the anger built up inside me so quickly it made me emotional. I couldn't hold back the tears long enough I've been nothing but loyal and faithful to you Jamie, I've done everything you've ever asked of me! I even let yo family come stay with us invading my privacy but I didn't say a word. Using up all my electricity and eating up all my food! But I never said a word. Even when you cheated on me the first time I forgave you I kept forgiving you!! " Can't you forgive me again? I promise I won't cheat again " we said that at the same time because that's the same line he hit me with every time. It ends up being a punch in the face because he don't mean it he never did and never will. I sink down in my chair and being to sob quietly and he walks over to me and kneel by my knees. I stand pushing him off me and look him straight in his eyes and I said " I want a divorce " and walked away. As I walked upstairs I heard him calling my name. When I reach the bedroom I could hear him fumbling up the stairs. I pulled out my suitcase and packed my things I couldn't stand the sight of him any longer. Where are you going? None of your damn business! Kaite you can't leave me I'm nothing without you. That would've meant something to me if you said that 6 years ago but Instead you continued after you kept swearing on your life you would stop. As I carried my things down the stairs he followed me begging and pleading for me to stay. I grabbed my purse and headed out the front door and he grabbed my arm. " You can't leave me I'm all you got girl and don't you forget it!! " oh yeah? Well watch me. I snatched my arm away from him and walked off the porch to my car and I got in it and drove away. Through my mirror I could see him as he walked into the street. He just stood there and watched my car as it faded far out of distance. Everything else after that went blank and I snapped back into reality with a smile on my face. I'm a free woman now I wonder where life will take me?