HACKED: a White Collar fanfic

Chapter Nine

Blair's POV

We worked on the case for a few more minutes until it was decided we should stop for the night. Since Neal lived there and no one really knew where Mozzie lived, it was just me and Agent Burke driving home. The sky wasn't completely dark yet so what was left of the sun shone on the buildings.

I hadn't really had the time to talk to Agent Burke without Neal before. It felt semi awkward. Of course this may just be me making it like this, because I'm like that. I didn't try to make conversation. I didn't know how. Yes, I may be a great conversationalist at times but we all have our moments where a "cat got your tongue", and whatever you try to say just ends up being pointless in the end.

"Everything okay?" Agent Burke abruptly asked me.

"Yea. Why?" I responded. I wasn't sure what was supposed to be wrong.

"You seem quiet and went to your friend's Starbucks today. Are you sure?"

Ah. So that's where this conversation was going. "Nothing makes you feel better than to have a face to face with the person who you used to be closest to. I still can't believe he only visited me once."

"It's sometimes hard to see people you love in prison. Have you ever thought about it that way?"

He did have a point... "No... But if he really cared, he would've visited more. Hell, even you stopped by twice with Neal to see how I was doing!"

"Don't let bitterness eat you away, Blair."

"Well it's already been slowly gnawing at me for seven years. How much of me do you think is left?" My hands were shaking. I just hoped I was dehydrated of all things.

Agent Burke was quiet at that. Probably surprised at the fact that I could be that deep.

We spent the rest of the car ride in silence and when we got to his house I went straight into my room, ignoring Elizabeth's greeting.

I heard them talking about me. Their voices were worried. Something about mental stability. Well that's something I've lost a while ago and if they ever find it, I'd really like it back.

It's been awhile since I've been like this, shaky hands, irrational anger, I could be set off without a moments notice. But then again, I always got like this when the anniversary of my parents murder was just around the corner.

I laid on my bed trying to relax myself. I couldn't just get up and walk around New York City, after all, I had just gotten back from wandering around.

Music wasn't an option either since I had yet to purchase a CD player or CDs yet.

The one thing I did have, was coloring. An odd choice of relaxation therapy, I know.

I search through my possessions, pulled out my box of crayons and adult coloring book, and flipped to a blank page, devoid of any color. Then I started with a green color. Filling in the grassy landscapes, the picture depicted.It was calming, and soon I could hold the crayons without my hands shaking and I felt alright again.

A knock on my door interrupted my self-therapy coloring session.

"Come in." I said and continued coloring.

Elizabeth walked in. Caution was obviously displayed on her face. "Hey, uh, dinner's ready if you want some."

"What'd you make?"

"Spaghetti and meatballs."

"I haven't had that in years." It was true. The last time I ate it was several days before my parents' Murders. "I'll be down in a moment."

She nodded and left the room.

I sat there for a moment. Not sure if I was even hungry, but it would be rude to refuse food. So I got up and went downstairs to find the food already on the table.

Agent Burke and Elizabeth were sitting down, talking about their day.

I wordlessly sat down at the only seat that was empty but had food set in front of it. I had forgotten what it was like to have homemade Italian food. The first bite was amazing.

"Wow, this is amazing, Elizabeth." I complimented Elizabeth.

She smiled. "Family recipe. But thank you. I'm glad you like it." She handed me the bread bowl. "How was your first day?"

"Well technically we weren't supposed to do anything today but I think-well I hope- that we've made progress." I looked at Agent Burke for confirmation.

"Yes, we did and we'll start putting your plans into action tomorrow."

"Cool."

It was silent for a moment until Elizabeth said, "So Blair, what's your... favorite movie?"

I didn't hesitate and said, "Definitely The Matrix. It's so cool."

"What school do you go to?"

I chuckled sheepishly. "I've, Uh, kinda unschooled myself for three years. Before that I went to public school."

They both looked at me in surprise. "You mean you have had a real education in three years?" Agent Burke inquired.

"Unschooling is a real form of school, okay? Also I've skipped multiple grades. I could be in college by now if I wanted to."It was true. I could be a college student if I actually cared about college.

Neither of them had a good answer for that, so we just ate in silence. Everything was awkward without Neal.

I'm not sure what it was about him, but he made me at ease the moment I met him. Maybe it was because he was a criminal too, or maybe it was the fact that he'd always made time to visit me in prison.

Once we had finished with dinner, I immediately went straight to doing dishes. It was a habit I had. Usually I'd clean up quickly so I could spend a few too many hours on my computer. But I didn't have my computer, so even more coloring it is I guess.

Agent Burke and Elizabeth held their own conversation, that I could've easily been apart of, but I chose to keep quiet.

A few minutes later we were done. I said "goodnight", with no intentions of coming out of my room until tomorrow morning.

Right before I was fully upstairs, Agent Burke said, "Be ready by 6:45. We'll go pick up Neal at Seven."

I nodded and disappeared upstairs. I shut the door and changed quickly, then collapsed onto my bed.

Hopefully tomorrow would be better.

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Right before I posted this I saw that this story has over 211 reads! What the hell? That's frickin amazing! Thank you all so much!