Lacrosse My Heart, Hope To Die

take me downtown | Elaine

That Night
"This is swanky!" I observed, as we walked into a modern-style nightclub in downtown Portland. It didn't quite blend in with the rest of the city, but they didn't card and they served alcohol, so we were in.

"Having fun?" I heard Nina ask Josie, as they walked out onto the dance floor.

"Yeah, I'm so glad that I don't have to worry about Max anymore," she laughed, and started swaying to the beat.

"Hey, El! I saw your snapchat and remembered that I was meaning to scope this place out, too! I'm so glad we caught you!" I heard a voice say from behind me. I wasn't expecting it, so I turned around and almost spilled my drink on the person behind me.

It was Lexi, from the team, along with Hannah, Eden, and Ashley, three other varsity players.

"It's great to see you, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find my friends," I fake-smiled. It wasn't that I didn't like them; I barely knew them. This was just supposed to be a fun night with my close friends.

"Hey, is it hot in here, or is it just me?" I asked Lila, who was sitting on a lounge chair, looking bored.

"I'm getting sweaty, too. Want to go outside?" she asked me, and we got up, heading out the door.

"So, what do you think about Max and Josie's sudden breakup?" I pressed.

"I think it's... interesting. Max should've tried to help her if he was concerned, but Josie shouldnt've asked him if he wanted her drugs in the first place," Lila yawned.

"Yeah, I agree. Josie can be impulsive at times, just like Nina," I agreed.

"Nina's just stupid, and she doesn't think. At least Josie acts like she has a brain," Lila said.

"I think it's interesting how George stays with her. He knows that she won't put out," I blurted, then immediately regretted it.

"George isn't driven by that. He's a rare guy, who's driven by emotional support. But even that can be a weakness. Ready to go back inside?" Lila asked, standing up straight after leaning against the concrete wall.

As Lila and I re-entered, we noticed a panicked-looking Josie and Nina sprinting towards us.

"I just got a call from my dad. He sounded really upset, and he wants us all to meet him on the corner of Forth and Riverbend. The thing is... that's where Max lives," Nina explained.

All four of us packed into Lila's Range Rover and sped the whole seven miles to Max's house. When we arrived, there were swarms of fire trucks, cop cars, and an ambulance, all packed around and in front of the Kinglsey's sprawling property.

As soon as we saw Mr. and Mrs. Kinglsey standing on their porch, sobbing, we knew exactly what had happened. Josie's body wracked with sobs, and Lila and I reached over to hold her from running at the house and seeing the body.

Nina jogged over to her father and they exchanged a few sullen words, and I could see that he was scolding her about something.

"Josie's pretty torn up," I told Nina, when she returned, "his parents came over for a quick minute, and said that he left two letters for us: one for Josie, and one for the rest of us. They hadn't read them yet."

"My dad just- he just told me that Max overdosed. On Ecstasy. Jesus fuck... yesterday, Josie offered him Ex, and he refused. What the hell happened? Max just killed himself, and apparently, the department suspects Josie. They haven't told his parents yet, because they love Josie to death. She just lost her ex-boyfriend, and now she's a murder suspect."

-

There was a school memorial assembly for Max two days later, which was the day before the team's trip to Newport. Josie sat front and center, where she cried and pretended that she still loved him.

-

The Newport trip was somewhat of a mess, especially due to our bus driver. She almost killed us multiple times, and Josie kept yelling about how she was going to jump out.

I, however, soaked it all in. I missed how carefree I was during freshman year, when I barely had anything to worry about. I missed Jess the most, because since then, our group had begun to slowly fade apart.

Suddenly, my mind jumped back to dinner at Newport Academy, who had hosted us. They mixed up our tables, so I ended up sitting by Katie, a friendly junior who played attack, and two college-level chaperones, Talia and Laurel, who had played lacrosse with the Hurricanes. Talia currently plays for Seattle University, Division I, and plays my position. That was why I looked up to her so much.

Laurel, on the other hand, is on a Pre-Med track at Seattle Pacific University. She was whip-smart and resourceful, and loved country music. Somehow.

They were both co-captains during their senior year, and I could only hope to be as good a player as Talia, but she was one of the only people I got starstruck around.

So, I babbled off some story about my chihuahua, while Katie laughed and ate another brownie. Feeling humiliated, I stalked off to the bathroom to fix my hair and check my teeth.

"I hope you're happy, you definitely just embarrassed yourself to the girl you look up to," I scolded my reflection in the mirror.

-

"I hope we can get a new driver," Erica, my roommate, half-joked, while brushing her fire engine red hair in the mirror.

"Agreed. I have a feeling that Coach Schrute won't be able to stand much more," I said, while setting out my jersey. Number seventeen, like I had always been.