Letters to My Ex

nate

nate.
i can't believe i'm writing this letter to you. i never would have expected us to have a letter. we've been through some shit and we've always go through it. and i love us for that. everyone would always tell me "aw you guys are so cute." and we were. we were our own couple. we didn't need to be like everyone else because we were just us. but it got to a point where i felt like something was wrong and something was lacking in our relationship and i ended it. like an idiot. because i love you so fucking much. and that's what scares me. i've only ever felt like this with one other person. i've never cried this much after a break up. and i think it's because you were the best of all of them. even though we went through some things were we would go days upon days without talking, our relationship was still ours. and i should have realized that. and i was blinded by the fact that all these couples are surrounding me and saw how they acted and talked all the time and couldn't be without each other. and i thought to myself "i want that." and "hey why don't i have that? but she does?" i was blinded by rage and jealousy and i took it out on you. and i really shouldn't have. and i regret it. i'm sorry. with breaking your heart, i broke my own. and i hate myself so much for that. i'm sorry. but i'm happy that you're happy now love. you're living life free from me and all my bullshit, and you deserve it. looking back on it now, i don't think i made you happy. i'm sorry for all that i put you through. one day i hope we can put all that behind us and ve friends again. like we used to be. you'll always have a place in my heart, know that. be happy. be free. she deserves you because you're great. and im sure she's great for you..
love, d.