When Love is Lust

Veronica and Xavier

It was a dark and somber sunset, the heat of the day vanishing along with the sun that was shadowed by large and thick grey clouds. He sat beside me on the hood of the truck we were renting, the silence between us was thicker than the humid Florida air. I remember his eyes, the unique dark green tint surrounded by a warm brown. Those long and thick lashes, his beautifully sculpted face. I had almost forgotten how much I loathed him. The hatred I had for him wasn't recent, but it wasn't something I held with me our whole relationship. I loved him more than anything and he loved me, but the most passionate candles always burn out the fastest.

Xavier and I were never supposed to meet, but the universe has its ways. When we met, he lived in Maine and I was in California, but a common love for the same band and 7-11 Slurpees brought us together. We were at the Los Angeles staples center, and Lincoln Park was performing. I decided to get a drink before the show, and so did Xavier. Long story short we met, we danced, and we loved all in one night. It came and went so quickly, our love. We did stupid, naive things and when we crashed from cloud 9, we were destroyed. Well, I was at least. During the beginning, we both made spur of the moment decisions like vacationing in Florida as soon as we could. A few months into our constant communication, we met in the keys. That's where it all went to shit.

So now, I sit on the hood of this dirty car staring at my foe. A man who made me feel like I was his universe, his everything, sat beside me, looking down at the road with an expression full of remorse and dismay. I willed myself not to cry, but tears were already flooding my vision when I broke our silence.

"Xav-"

"Veronica stop, stop doing this," He cut me off, running a hand through his somewhat long brown hair. "We need to stop doing this. I know, I fucked up. That's on me. And I also know you hate me, and you will never forgive what I did. You know just as well as I do that this," He made a motion with his hands signaling the space between us, "this has already ended a long time ago."

Before I could even blink, I started sobbing. Of course, I knew it's over. You were messing around with the maid when I got back from the hotel gym.

"Now listen to me, because I need to say this. I loved you, but it wasn't love, not yet. I'm just incredibly disappointed. As soon as I found you I thought 'Wow, the perfect person. My perfect fit' but I was wrong. I wish you kept your dick in your pants, I wish you let me love you and that you would let yourself love me. What we had was lust, lust that could have turned emotional and more but for now, it was just lust. After today, we will be heading to our homes, and I sure as hell will not be welcoming you into my life anytime soon," I finished, all my thoughts coming out in a jumble of words and shouts. Xavier listened silently, his own tears formed in his eyes.

"Let's go," He replied, and he drove us to the hotel.

With a heavy heart, I booked a separate room and left at dawn without so much as a goodbye. I never heard from him again, and that's for the best. 

(Authors note: I hope you liked the story, thanks for reading! Please leave suggestions for any genre or concept you'd be interested in seeing)