The Suprenos

Chapter 1

I watch and listen obligated to stay on the side of this picture. I'm like a regular person observing from the side-lines, like a normal person observing actors on a cinematic screen; except I'm no ordinary person.
The boy my age, stands with a bubble-gum blue t-shirt matching with a pair of aged black jeans gripping to his thighs; the t-shirt seems to be a size small showing off all his specs. Hanging from his dark, skinny, wrists are an assortment of braided leather bracelets. I always loved his bracelets. Standing in a crowded pulsing room, music leaking from all corners, blurring out the speech, drunken slurs, and even the pumping of my own heart. The guy is leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room from where I have been positioned. A small smile spreads across my lips. He stands obliviously twirling his brown bracelets around and around, with a look of innocent wonder spread across his face. This must be mine and Jack's first time at a party.

This cute guy is getting lust filled looks from the drunken girls located all around the room, even some tipsy guys navigate their eyes towards him, oblivious to all these looks, he stares enchanted at the middle of the dance floor, puppy-eyed at the girl dancing centre-staged in the middle of the room, atop the leather sofas.

I feel my stomach drop and heart twist in pain and utter jealousy. In denial, I shake my head. Jack can't be...into that girl... Right?
I mean yeah, she's easy on the eyes but I thought- I thought- what was I thinking? Of course I was reading the situation wrong, when have I ever read it write? Never. I will my mind to close, to take me somewhere where I can stick my heart back together again; like so many times before.

This dancing baboon whom is very clearly tipsy soon registers someone's eyes watching her, someone particular. The green eyes scan the party's participants. She notices a couple of drooling boys eyeing her up greedily from the corner, yet she simply rolls her eyes and continues searching. Who is she searching for? She answers my question for me. Her eyes connect with Jacks, a goofy grin blossoms on her face. She jumps down from her dancing spot and walks over to him.

My heart is practically begging my brain to let us turn around, get out of here, yet my brain, rebelliously ignores and forces my feet to drag me over to where they are gathered.

"So you made it then?" my eyes twitch, is she serious?! Well he's here, so obviously he made it!

" Yeah,looks like I could come after all." he states continuing to twirl his leather braids around his wrist.

Their gazes are entwined with one another holding something that makes my stomach churn and my feelings in my heart to crack.

"Hey-um you wanna-like dance?" Jack asks awkwardly a hint of pink staining his cheeks.

I smile despite myself and my heart begging for me to be his partner instead. Jack has always been so awkward, just like me.

A smile blossoms on her coated lips, "Sure. This is a good song to dance to anyway." She places her hand out in a gesture to grab Jack's. A smile tugs at his lips and he begins to reach his hand out. My heart plummets. Just as their fingers are about to touch he pulls back abruptly. Both me and this girl Stare at him in shock. Is there a small shimmer of hope?

"Oh right. Sorry Jessica I forgot. Happy birthday!" he reaches down and I notice, for the first time, a small pink gift bag sitting next to his leg. He grabs it and hands it gently towards her, as if scared she will reject it without a second thought.

Jessica looks startled for a second as though she too forgot about her birthday. Almost instantly this turns into a happy grin. She accepts the present gladly.

Jessica, huh? Although its a popular name, it sounds too familiar. I search through my mind. Jessica... Jessica.... Jessica... ohhhhh Jessica. Honestly I'm hopeless when it comes to names, but in my defence I have no reason to remember her name she's only in a couple of my classes and is popular in contrast to me. She's a regular cheerleader, throwing awesome parties (that I'm never invited to), having guys drool over her figure and short skirts( which I never wear) and she actually is a cheerleader, which is something I have never and will never aspire to be.

We couldn't be more different.... Except we both like the same person. How can I compete with her?

Jessica opens the small long box located in the bag and gasps. Intrigued I twist my head around to get a better look. There in the box is a beautiful silver bracelet, almost designed to look like a vine, it has shiny skinny branches with small sparkly leaves and flowers encrusted with diamonds, I'm not sure if they are fake or not. Jealousy spouts up within me. I wish this was my birthday party, I wish Jack was here to see me, I wish he was giving that bracelet to me, I wish he was looking at me the way he is Jessica... I wish.

"Oh my god! This must've been so expensive. It's so beautiful!" she looks up at Jack her eyes twinkling in gratitude, but that soon changes to realisation
"Oh my god! I can't accept this."her words seem to stab Jack's heart, hurt flashes in his eyes. My heart gets a warm fuzzy feeling as though I need to protect him, I glare at Jessica. How can she turn this down? Isn't it rude to turn down presents? She quickly realises her mistake.
"Oh no, not that it isn't lovely... It's just.... This must've cost you quite a fair bit of money for something so beautiful.... I Mean I could never accept it if it cost you a lot of money..." she states trailing off. If I'm honest I can totally agree with her, although I don't want to. It looks really expensive.

"No, no, no it wasn't that much. Please I insist. Besides it's your 16th birthday you deserve to be spoilt!" he takes the bracelet carefully out of the box, as Jessica stares hard at him. He carefully wraps it around her pale wrist, clipping it into place, he lets his hands hover before pulling away. I begin to feel as though my heart is weighted, going further and further falling slowly down my body as they share more touchy and flirty encounters.

Jessica's emerald eyes stare deep into his brown ones, as if enchanted by his mere presence. I know that feeling all too well, and can't help but wish that was me.

A smile lights up on Jack's face. He grabs Jessica's hand from her side and takes her too the dance floor. Again both me and Jessica have startled expressions, except she's the only one who ends up smiling. Her liking the bracelet must've given Jack a spark of confidence.

An upbeat song bounces around the room vibrating off the walls, not at all illustrating how I feel. I Stare at them on the dance floor swaying to the music. Jessica too close, grinding against Jack. He surprisingly keeps up with her dancing enthusiastically, like he does it a lot more than people expect, something I never knew about him yet I wish I found out in a different way.

I watch them laughing giddy in the centre of the dance floor, their own little world. They look so perfect together, her pale skin complimenting his dark skin, his simple clothing toning down her showy dress, and both wearing bracelets about their wrists.

My eyes begin to sting, unshed tears blurring my vision, steadily building up. Jessica's and Jacks dancing figures blur more by the second. Darkness is steadily seeping into the picture like ink on paper slowly spreading across it. The music begins to quieten more and more to a little tune. The drunken shapes slowly become engulfed in darkness. The last thing I see in this depressing picture is the silver bracelet shining mockingly at me. With that I finally have acceptance and close my eyes. And begin my fall.

***

With an almost silent thud I "land" in my seat. Slightly dazed I look around taking in my surroundings. I'm sitting on a worn leather chair, to my left are a pair of limp red curtains, and on my right seated next to me is an old lady snoring gently into her neck pillow. Oh right, I'm on the coach, on the way back from my dad's from the half term. My eyes wander to the window, the night being lit every now and then by passing lights, only a couple of cars decorating the roads.

My eyes drag up to the sky, the stars are covered in gloomy grey clouds giving the illusion that we are all trapped. Just mice in a cage. The feeling that I can never escape the moment that is now.

I peer around, seems to be that most of the passengers are fast asleep, good because I tears begin to prickle my eyes. I envy them, they are in their own world of sweet slumber whereas I probably won't be able to get a wink of sleep tonight or maybe for a long time.I try to blink back the tears, the whole situation just keeps rerunning through my mind. The way they looked at each other. The way they acted. They way they looked so perfect together. My hands begin to feel wet, the tears rolling off of my face and splashing on my hands, there's no way I can keep doing this. Why can't I just be normal?

I pull my hood of my jacket over my head hiding away. Why does it have to be like this?

Why?