nepenthe [jin centric]

ch. 4

nepenthe
ch. 4

It is now . . .

1:00 a.m

They had a quick emergency dance practice called in by Mr. Son because he needed to confirm if the dance sequence plan looked presentable. It was voluntary, but everyone went.

Because of this, the group meeting was moved to tomorrow, which meant Seokjin would have to deal with this tenseness with Hoseok. Of course he could apologize by himself, but after being so used to these group teamwork meetings, Seokjin had forgotten how to fix things by himself.

Incapable of fixing his own shit.

HE IS:

Handicapped with a blessed life.

The worst evil.
Why?
Because he wasn't really handicapped, he just made himself that way by pressing down on himself with an invisible boulder.

Guilt

They both ignore each other. Seokjin wants so badly to kneel next to him and beg for forgiveness but he stays silent, watching Hoseok as he sits on the couch purposefully looking everywhere but at him.

GUILT

Hoseok's back is hunched over with his phone in his hand. He's haistly scrolling through something Seokjin can't see, but from the distressed complexion and the lip biting, Seokjin has a good idea.

GUILT.

If that stupid news sight hadn't posted about it this would have been okay

Or

If I hadn't blew up at Hoseok for something so simple he wouldn't have had to deal with this. He's my younger for shit sake, and here I am forcing this hate load on him.

He couldn't take his eyes off of Hoseok, who was so deeply concentrated into his phone. His leg was jumping impatiently.

G U I L T .

I have to do something.

He impatiently waited for Hoseok to leave.
As soon as Hoseok finally left to go to bed (or maybe to cry), Seokjin scrambled onto the couch and swiped intensely on his phone for the vlive app. His fingers were shaking.

<would you like to START your VLIVE?>

[START] [CANCEL]

[START]

Feeling dumb as he just watched the viewer count go up, he realized it was virtually all international fans since it was 1 in the morning in Korea.

Seokjin decided to pretend he didn't know and speak korean for the sake of his sanity.

"So I understand a lot of you are...um...upset at Hoseok," he wanted to say Hobi, but the nickname felt wrong since Hoseok was ignoring him, "so I just want to elaborate on what happened because no one really knows," he took a deep breath staring straight at the camera, " so I wasn't paying attention to an announcement that the manager had given because I was listening to music, right? So Hoseok rips my earbuds out, and for some idiotic reason I get upset and call him a mean name, right?"