nepenthe [jin centric]

ch. 13

a/n- really didn't want to disappoint with this chapter but I was just completely blank. I am sorry for not meeting up to expectations. if this continues, an aimless story with no direction, i will probably have to end it in a few more chaps. But this story was never meant to take more than 20-25 chapters. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying. it really means a lot to me

nepenthe
ch. 13

'love yourself'

It's an intriguing yet powerful subject. A train of thought that only crosses your mind when you are doubting your ability to feel it.

Do you just start loving yourself?
Is it something that you pull out of the air?

'love yourself'

Seokjin's eyes flared dangerously. His forehead pressed against the glass and challenged his own reflection. He brushed two fingers softly over his eyes in the reflection, then rubbed the finger marks away with his short sleeve by wiping the glass awkwardly with his shoulder.

do you love yourself seokjin?
it asked

ah.
so it's you.
he replied

yes it's me.

do you love me?

no.

will you ever love me?

maybe.

Seokjin decided he could be satisfied with that. For now. He turned away from the thick glass displaying not only his reflection, but the outlines of the sluggish 2:00 a.m city below. His touch lingered on the cool surface, then pulled away. He rubbed his hands.

The phone on the hospital nightstand began to sing it's annoying yet familiar ringtone. He irritably smeared his palm over his eyes. Whoever was calling him wasn't sleeping well, but then again, neither was he.

On the screen, Namjoon's profile picture flashed. He chuckled at the picture. Namjoon was staring intensely with a double chin.

"Your getting discharged today right?"

"Straight to the point? Namjoonie is feeling manly today."

Namjoon half whined half grumbled, "hyuuuung." The loud noise rung in his ears. He cringed.

"Alright, alright," he piped as he jumped back on the bed. The pillows hopped at the impact, "I am getting discharged today, but with-" he read the small note with a squint, "with recommendations for..."

Psychological Evaluation and Guidance, it read.

How embarrassing.

"For what?"

"Ah-it's nothing," he said. Namjoon didn't need to know everything.

"Kay. Can I pick you up?"

Seokjin shifted the phone to his left side as he fixed the curtain, "now?"

"Yeah."

With a sigh, he crossed his hands subconsciously, "why aren't you sleeping, Namjoon-ah?"

"Ohooo the formalness is formally formaling me," he said as his voice cracked multiple times.

"Joon," a small grin crept up his lips but his voice remained firm.