Die for a Laugh - Dean Winchester x Reader x Joker

Chapter 6

"I am going to make sure Joker dies at the end of this, and nothing will stop me."

You closed your eyes and rubbed your temple as Dean's words were repeated in your mind. No matter how much you tried to shake them off they just kept being repeated over and over again like a broken record. But it wasn't the words per say, or the honesty and determination in Dean's voice when he'd said them, or even how this could work out for you that scared the hell out of you but it rather something else, something more than your life... his life. You were scared of what could happen to Joker, you were scared of him getting hurt. Even if that was why you'd gone undercover it now felt like a thought so far away, so distant, something that belonged in the past. Way long back, even if it hadn't been that long indeed.

The change of your feelings scared you as well, but again not as much as you feared for his well-being.

"Miss?" a voice caught your attention, making you look up from your hands, blinking "Are you alright?"

"Wha- Sorry, Frost. Distracted." you gave him a tight smile and he nodded his head with a reassuring smile.

"You don't have to apologize, Miss. Hunters, I'm assuming?" he raised an eyebrow and for a second you frowned.

"Uh yes, you could say. It's mostly... the changes in me that it has all caused that have me thinking, that's all." you mumbled and although it confused him he didn't insist on it. Not that you could explain him anyway, even if he knew the whole truth. You could barely begin to explain it to yourself. Barely accept it.

How could you just accept that the man had consumed not only your thoughts but also your feelings, heck your entire existence, your entire being? Sometimes you caught yourself saying and doing things you couldn't comprehend, things that weren't like you to say or do. Or at least not the you that you let out in the surface most of the time. It felt like he brought another you, not really a bad one, not a monster, but you still had not figured out what it all really was. More like a mystery, just like the man himself when you got to know him, ironically enough. But even more, you didn't know and were constantly questioning if all these changes were because of what Sam had first said when you were talking about this case.

"They say love changes people though."

The mere thought made you shiver and your stomach get tighed in knots. The thought was a merely crazy idea if you thought about a while ago but now... was it? Your throat felt tight and you felt your hands shake when you realized it could be the closest thing to the truth but how could you ever admit that even to yourself? The man, he was still more of a man than a monster the more you got to know him, made you feel things so different yet surprisingly none of it felt bad or wrong.

Except for maybe the guilt at having to lie to Sam and Dean that you found yet another lead that you could handle on your own or were going for supply run in this great shop that sadly was a little too far away, only so that you could meet up with Joker. And then there was the guilt that came with lying to Dean in specific, in a way that made you feel as if you were cheating on him although there was nothing going on between you.

"You know-" Frost's voice caught your attention again and you really appreciated it "I'm not really one to experience things like this but-" he offered you a drink with a small smirk that made you frown "They say love changes people." he shrugged and just as you had taken the glass it slipped from your fingers. He luckily was fast enough to catch it.

You blinked before looking at him "Sorry" you mumbled, taking the glass back this time with both hands "Wh-what did you say?"

"Look, it's not my business by any means but ever since you came into the view, he-" he paused, glancing at the door of Joker's office "He's changed. I don't know if it's for the best or if it's for the worst considering who he is and what he does but... there are times that I can finally see the human in him, you know? Not the monster he tries to bring out on purpose."