kidnapped || bts ff

Chapter 8//

ELI POV:

Another fucking nightmare, I'm actually sick of it. I go to bed, I start to dream, that turns to a nightmare, I wake up shocked breathless nearly, I feel my head and it's soaked from sweating and pounding with a headache. You'd think I could tell my nightmares to fuck off after having them for 10 years of my life.

I got out of bed quietly trying to calm my breathing and head for the bathroom. My heart was beating so fast I cold feel it in every limb of my body. I felt limp and achy and my tears were falling naturally as always. I still haven't told Lae or Jas about them yet. What's there to worry about? It's normal right?

Me: "Stop crying."

I continuously wipe my tears like there's no tomorrow and try to look for the bathroom. Hobi showed me where it was, I'm not good at remembering. It's too blurry to guess anyway.

Me: "Fuck it."

I decide to take a break and sit down. I try to calm myself from the heavy breathing and dripping of tears. It takes 30 mins to an hour every time I have these, this is my version of a fucking panic attack. I finally caught my breath but suddenly heard footsteps. Sorry but I'm not dying tonight.

I got up and tried to walk the opposite way of where I thought it was coming from. I didn't want to look back but I found myself only looking that way. Without realising I bumped into someone in front of me.

Me: "Fuck!"

I heard him laugh. Omg yeah so funny, I didn't look where I was going and neither did you. Now my arse hurts.

Ho: "Is that your favourite word or something?"

I rub my eyes and see Hobi kneeling in front of me. Weird, was legit just thinking about him.

Me: "No, but I'm pretty sure falling on my arse has now become some hobby."

Ho: "Well I wasn't looking where I was going and I guess neither where you."

Me: "You think?"

He gave another laugh and took my hand. I found myself staring into his eyes and him in mine. He suddenly raised his hand as I flinched to his soft touch on my cheek.

Ho: "Why were you crying?"

He whipped away my tears from where they had stained my cheek and took my hand.

Me: "Why are you asking?"

He gave me a reassuring smile and I felt something blow up in my stomach. I'm not catching feelings for him, I will fucking throw them if anything.

Ho: "Is it so bad that I care?"

...not helping the throwing here.

Me: "No it's just, why would you? I'm annoying, I'm clumsy, weird, a fucking retard actually."

Ho: "That's only the bonus of who you are. You're also beautiful, funny, kind, cute and an amazing sister. When I care, I care for all of you and not the things some may only see."

Screw it, I love this man. My heart is goo, my stomach is up in flames and my throat is EXTREMELY dry?

Me: "Are you sure you wanna hear why I was crying?"

You're really doing this? You haven't even told your actual relatives this?

He gave me a gentle nod and tightened his grip on my hand. I have to say it now, I breathe out heavily and continue.

Me: "Me and my sisters have been through a lot. Lae's probably had the worst, being the oldest and all. Jas is young and sometimes feels like she's dragging behind and well, I'm in the middle. I deal with both sides and am the glue to their paper. I've seen some traumatising things that my brain never rids but replays. Every night since I was 11 I would have continuous nightmares of my past and as time has gone on more and more gets added. I can never see happiness for all I can see is how shit everything is. I tell myself it isn't that way but it's like there's this wall that blocks it all out. I've never taken anything to stop it for if I did I know for a fact I'd overdose on it. I don't know what's wrong with me and I feel like I never will."