If Only... || h.s.

Chapter One

Chapter One:

Parker Elliot

I ran to my room, threw my bag, and slammed the door. Crying, I yanked open my dresser drawer and took out a razor. I took a deep breath and dug the razor deep into my wrist, one last time. I read over the suicide letter that I had written over and over again, and grabbed my sleeping pills.

"He can't make fun of me if I'm dead." I said allowed and poured half of the bottle into my mouth. "Zayn can't call me ugly or fat. He can't tell me I'm worthless and a waste of space. Finally, I can be done with it. With everything." I laid back onto my bed and my eyelids became heavy.

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I woke up in a small room, gagging as if a tube was down my throat. I tried to grab at it, but something- someone stopped me.

"You need that, love." the man chuckled. I blinked quickly so my eyes could adjust to this blurry human. When my vision cleared, I saw that he was tall and had brown, curly hair. His eyes were greener than emeralds, his jaw was sharp enough to cut glass, and his dimples were so deep I could have stuck my whole fist in them. (Okay maybe not that deep). Although he was beautiful, I was hoping that he was just an illusion. I didn't want to be there- on Earth, I mean.

"Who are you?" I croaked.

"Harry," he smiled, "Harry Styles."

"Why am I here?" I asked, and sat up.

"You overdosed on Zolpidem. Your mom found you and drove you here." Harry spoke with a raw tone and dark eyes when it came to upsetting things. "But enough with bad news, lets see what you missed while you were out... Storms hit, awards were won, and oh yeah, people were arrested!" I scoffed at his retarded humor, and his eyes glistened.

"Aren't you a little young to be a doctor?" I asked, realizing that he was at least eighteen, nineteen at the most.

"Oh, I'm not a doctor. I-"

Suddenly, a man, around fifty, with grey hair, glasses, and a white coat stormed into my room. "What in the world are you doing here?" He scolded, "Harold! Get back to your bed! You need to rest!"

Harry smirked and stood from a chair beside my bed. "Bye... I never did get your name, did I?" Harry revealed, scratching the back of his neck, smirking.

"No, its Parker. Parker Elliot." I muttered.

"Well then, goodbye, Parker Elliot, I will be seeing you." Harry saluted me as if I were a Military Sargent and he was a training soldier, and left the room.

"Who the hell was that? And who let him in my room?" I asked, irritated.

"That was Harry Styles. He's a patient in the next room over. He has been here for a while now and likes to wonder. Curious boy, that one." The doctor said, shaking his head and chuckling.

"Okay then... So, thanks for rescuing me and whatever. Can I go home now?" I asked, taking off my blanket.

"Not so fast, Ms. Elliot. We are going to have to keep you here for a few more weeks."

"Excuse me, weeks?" I retorted.

"Yes, Mrs. Elliot, you have a serious mental illness that needs medical attention. You have at least fifty scars on your wrists alone. My name is Dr. Medley, andI'm going to be keeping a close eye on you for the next couple of weeks. If you need any assistance, just press the nurses button and one will be here in seconds." Dr. Medley smiled and left the room without saying another word.

"Well, this is going to be hell." I muttered and laid back down.

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Within the next few hours I managed to get the nurse, Claire, to bring me some Starbucks while she was on her break, and take two naps. I wasn't allowed to leave my bed for any reason besides going to the bathroom, but even then, I had to call Claire so she could make sure I didn't hurt myself. It gave me mini panic attacks thinking about being stuck in this boring bed for God knows how many weeks. I saw that Harry boy walk past my room four times, one of which, he was only wearing his boxers. It angered me that this boy was getting special treatment. He must have answered an ad in the newspaper to be used as a lab-rat for new medication. He probably needed the money to get another tattoo or crack or something.

For the first three days, the only visitors I had were Claire, two others nurses I couldn't remember the names of, Dr. Medley, and the occasional Harry boy in the hall. Neither of my parents came; they were probably praying that they'd be forgiven for raising such a disappointment.

I'd realized from watching that Harry boy that he liked bananas. A lot. Every few hours I would see him passing my room with one in his hand. I also noticed that he was allowed to leave the hospital, as long as he came back. He didn't seem to be externally hurt, but he basically lived in the hospital so that meant he had some kind of extreme disease. Whatever he had didn't seem to be affecting his outer body though. He had a full head of hair, and toned biceps. He never flexed his stomach, so I wasn't sure if he had abs or not. Maybe he had AIDS... Whatever it was that he had, I needed to find out. My curiosity was going to kill me if I didn't soon.

Hola! Sorry if this was a really short and shitty chapter. I promise it will get better!! thank you for reading!! ily!!

Love,

Matti