Waltz

part nine

For the second day in a row Mason goes up to his room as soon as he gets home, not even stopping for dinner. This time he doesn't join his parents when he feels a tornado of emotions ripping through his mind, instead he tries to focus his energy somewhere productive by doing some light math homework. Mason is by no means a math genius but he's always gotten good enough grades without needing help from a tutor. For no less than an hour Mason attempts to read through his textbook for the upcoming exams throughout the next week but no matter how much he tries to focus he is incapable of interpreting the words on the page.

Frustration bubbles, up finally breaking him, groaning in frustration Mason slams the thick book closed before shoving it to the floor. What is happening to him? He feels like he's unravelling at the seems. He was doing fine for the past few months, sure there were some depressing thoughts at first and he was struggling a lot but he had finally started to feel better in his skin again. He isn't certain what caused him to feel such strong, confusing emotions again but his mind can't help but wander to Ethan. The boy was soft spoken with a deep voice, curly hair that on anyone else would look messy but on him just looked right, the way he danced with such confidence in himself but gets flustered at simple conversations; Mason is endlessly curious about this boy but he shouldn't be. He can't be. Laying down on his side Mason can only stare blankly at the wall, he can't help but feel like Ethan isn't going to help his situation.

Sleep takes it's time finding the boy but when it does Mason dreams he's at a competition performing his solo Waltz that he's been working on for weeks but something isn't right; Mason knows all the steps by heart but when he walks onto the ballroom floor it's like someone wiped all memories of the dance from his brain. He's frozen in place, struggling to move his legs and start dancing but he's rooted to the hardwood floor. A couple sashays past him suddenly, the male letting his shoulder slam into Mason's, knocking him onto his hands and knees. Gasping for breath it feels as if the world is caving in on him, staring up at the dancers above him the ground begins to rumble beneath the boy. Ethan and Anna stare down at him with looks of disgust on their faces.

"I can't believe I ever danced with you," Anna scoffs, making Ethan laugh in return.

"I hear he can't even remember his steps anymore, what a shame." The two throw their heads back with laughter, pointing down at Mason.

A crack rips through the floor across the room, headed right to the spot where the boy is stranded on the ground. Ethan links arms with Anna before rearing his leg back and kicking Mason square in the chest, pain reverberates throughout the boy's body before he collapses completely to the floor. Unable to even speak at this point Mason can only watch as the crack in the ground reaches his body, the floor shifts impossibly before falling away all together with a deafening crack. The boy can't even scream as he falls into the abyss, all he can do is watch the couple take their stance for the Waltz as he falls deeper and deeper, as he falls he sees the curly haired boy look down at him. The images above him start to shrink until they wink out completely, leaving Mason alone, the darkness creeping into his lungs like a thick fog, cutting off his oxygen flow until he's choking and gasping for air.

Mason wakes with a gasp, eyes wide open the brunette pushes himself into a sitting position. With sweating palms Mason combs his fingers through his hair, attempting to breathe deeply. His heart sinks as he realizes what's happening, he can feel himself slowly slipping back into a depression. He's been fighting it transiently but it's undeniable now; when this happened all those months prior all the people in his life noticed a drastic change in Mason but he stayed quiet about it. He didn't want to tell people and have them think he was weak, no, he was going to handle this himself.

The word depression didn't hit him at first, it wasn't until one night he woke up sweating and afraid from an umpteenth nightmare that he finally understood what was happening. Just like he's realizing now for the second time that year. The thoughts have been stuck in the back of his mind but he tried to ignore them, but after his recent breakdown it's impossible. He still cannot tell a soul, the embarrassment and shame is weighing heavily on his shoulders. He will go to the audition Wednesday, he will continue to practice every night, he will pretend that he's not spiraling farther into darkness. Mason is in this all alone and it scares him to be headed back down this path but he is unsure how to stop it, last time he felt this way it took months of struggles to finally be able to enjoy life again. Curling up with his blanket pulled over his head Mason doesn't even attempt to sleep again for many hours, by the time he let's slumber crash over him it's almost time to wake again for school. Only one more day to the weekend, Mason reminds himself, and only six days until another audition.