too soon ▸ gdragon

♡

Having Jiyong’s child was not something that you had expected to happen so soon. It was still very early in your relationship, and there were no thoughts about having a family in the near future.

So when you snuck a pregnancy test into the house without his knowledge and took it while he wasn’t at home, you were not expecting to get a positive result.

You had been praying for weeks that the bloating around your waist line was from all the takeout food you’d been eating lately. Surely the morning sickness – that lasted for 7 days in a row – was from the bad batch of cookies Seungri brought to the YG family party, right? And there was no way that getting hot flashes in the middle of winter was abnormal…

At the thought of that, you felt your skin begin to heat all over and tears pricked at the corner of your eyes as you sat on the closed toilet seat and stared at the dreaded plastic in your hands.

You had never hated the sight of a “plus” sign so much in your life.

It’d been three hours since you’d taken the test and you were still just as confused as the moment you first found out you were expecting.

You couldn’t wrap your head around the thought that you had a baby growing inside of you now. Jiyong’s baby.

You looked down at your belly - which was barely showing signs of your pregnancy – and rubbed your free hand soothingly along the minimal, fabric covered bump that seemed to grow twice as large since finding out your suspicions were true. “Why now?” you whispered with a shaky voice, overwhelming emotion evident in your tone.

You knew you wanted Jiyong to be the father of your child – maybe children – someday, but not this soon. There was so much going on in his business life that you knew a baby would surely put an entire halt to it all. He had expressed many times to multiple people that he wanted to be a young father, but your insecure thoughts convinced you that now was not the right time for him to put his life on hold to take care of another human being. You already felt like you were a burden by being a secret girlfriend he had to hide, and now you had to mess it all up by bringing another person into his world.

Which is why you decided you weren’t going to let him know anything about this.

Jiyong didn’t need more drama.

Jiyong didn’t need this baby.

Jiyong didn’t need you.

Those were the words you kept repeating to yourself later that evening when Jiyong came home and found you waiting with a single suitcase, a freshly printed plane ticket, and a forged college acceptance letter in your hands.

He tried to congratulate you, but you couldn’t bear the thought of him touching you. You knew you would crumble if he kissed you and hugged you and gave you that beautiful gummy smile of his, and you felt very tempted to forget the whole plan when you saw the look of hurt in his eyes when you pushed him away and denied his advances completely. However, you had spent the last few hours going over your exit plan and you weren’t about to give into the temptation of staying. Though both were gut-twisting and heart-wrenching, staying with a baby would be worse than leaving, so you had to contain yourself and do what was best for Jiyong and his career.

You couldn’t even look at him when you told him that going overseas to a private college – that didn’t even exist – meant that your short lived relationship with him was over.

“What do you mean you don’t want to be with me anymore? You said you loved me last night and you would do anything to be with me, and now you’re going to let some fucking college ruin everything?”