Deepest Desire [NaLu AU]

Chapter X

The next morning, I found myself waking up somewhere foreign. It was a room that I'd never seen before, and was furnished much more nicely than my previous insanity-inducing room. There was a small porthole open to the clear sky and calm waters residing just beyond the thick wooden boards around me. It was a little disorienting, seeing the water so close and knowing that all that separated you from them and prevented them from surging in and filling your lungs was a mere wooden wall. I shivered before snapping a lamp on and grabbing a blanket to cover the view. While I covered the small window in blankets that served as curtains for the time being, I examined my surroundings. A small, empty desk, an equally small and empty dresser across from it, and a twin bed pushed against the center of the wall with a table and small lamp beside it was all that occupied my small space. It looked remarkably like a spotless version of the Captain's quarters I had hidden in yesterday. I realized I didn't remember much from last night. I remembered my panic as I realized where I was. I remembered a small, adorable, blue cat that took a liking to me. I remembered answering questions, and asking just as many. But I couldn't remember anything after that, besides the snoring of the Salamander as he dropped out of exhaustion.

Wait. Now I remembered. I remembered the light, satisfying, scrape of the Salamander's sword slipping out of its scabbard. I remembered the feeling of holding it just over the pirate's throat as he slept peacefully. I remembered the sad, disappointed look of Happy as he stared at me as if pleading me to put the weapon down. I remembered the realization that if I didn't do it now, I probably never would. I remembered putting the sword down and collapsing in my own exhaustion. Exhaustion from making one of the hardest choices I ever had.

For a sword had never felt heavier.

~xXx~

I sighed, picking myself up from my cluttered desk, gazing around at my surroundings. Happy was still resting in the hammock where she'd been, I hadn't had the heart to disturb him last night, and I didn't have the heart to disturb him now. I remembered the look in Happy's eyes just before I was about to take her back to her room: a glaring look of refusal as if to say, 'I like her.' I remembered the awe reflected in her eyes when I showed her just what I could do. But I also remembered the awful insults she threw at me without remorse. I remembered the way she'd gotten up in my face just to tell me that she was Wendy's sister when she knew it would make me mad.

I remembered waking up in the middle of the night, seeing my unsheathed sword lying carelessly across the floor. I remembered seeing the way she curled up with Happy in a hammock, content and comfortable. I remembered carrying her in my arms to a nearby room and setting her down in a small bed. I remembered my decision to trust her, maybe become friends when she decided she could trust me. Because she'd already had the best and possibly only chance that she'd ever get.

But she hadn't taken it.

~xXx~

The first thing I did when I got out of bed was check the dresser for any more clothing options. Of course there weren't any. My royal blue and gold Sea Navy uniform that was once so crisp and clean was now filthy, littered with holes and covered in what was quite possibly irremovable grime. The only thing that could possibly be salvaged and cleaned up were my brown, leather, knee-high boots. I groaned in frustration. Despite my desperate need of fresh, clean clothes, I refused to ask anyone. Even if I asked, they would probably make me wear something stupid and unflatteringly pirate-like just like every other outfit I'd seen on this ship. I much preferred the formal attire I was so used to wearing to anything I'd seen so far. My fingers ran through my long, greasy, salt-encrusted hair and I wondered if they at least had a place to bathe.

Seeing nothing else to do in the boring, though bearable, room, I tried the doorknob, praying to every god in existence that it wouldn't be locked. My prayers were answered when I pulled the door open in an excessively forceful manner, causing me to promptly fall on the floor on my butt. I checked the halls—an instinctive action from when I'd been a prisoner, which I assumed was no longer my status based on my room and freedom upgrade—and decided a little exploring wouldn't hurt.