I doubt any of you think I have any sort of depression, PTSD, Complex Trauma, or anything else like that. ADHD, Self conscious problem, Anxiety... etc.
Well, unfortunately, I do.
At the age of 17, I even wanted to kill myself.
Everyone left me, and I felt completely helpless.
I felt this weird pain in my chest. I'm not joking.
Every time I heard someone say 'heartache', I didn't actually believe you could have an ACTUAL heartache. But I soon learned, that anything's possible. My heart doesn't beat. My heart, like the rest of me, is dead. You could stake it, rip it out, burn it, and it would have no effect on me. I'd be fine. A little pissed off, because you stole my heart (literally), but it wouldn't do anything to me. I am already dead. Idiot.
But I was suffering, after my mother was murdered (she wasn't a full vampire, she was only a half breed. They're a LOT easier to kill. You have to be BORN a vampire, to be a full vampire. Not bitten, if you're bitten, you're a halfbreed. I was born.) My point is, after my mother was murdered, I felt more alone, more broken, more devastated than I ever had before. There was a painful ache in my chest, and it felt like I was lacking oxygen, and, I don't even NEED oxygen. I felt like there was a literal HOLE in my chest. It was tight, and I couldn't breathe. My friends, that is what you call a heartache. Don't panic, I too thought I was going to have a heart attack, then lexy knocked some sense into me by reminding me, I can't have a heart attack, because I'm already dead. She too thought it was strange for me to have a heartache. But it was also, fun, and exciting. A new experience. One, I hope to never have again.
Anyone relate...? Feel free to comment.
Also, if you're having a rough time at the moment, leave a message for me (either in PM or comment, it's up to you), and I shall reply as soon as I see it. I will not falter, this I promise. (If I do, don't blame the vampire, blame the chick behind the screen).
