To leave with the rain - Watty Awards 2012

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I hope you like it, this is the first thing I have ever uploaded on Wattpad. SOOO PLEASE

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My name is Sam, and this is the beginning of the end, for me. As I layed in the hospital bed that morning, I knew. I knew that today was going to be different than the rest. That today was going to be my last day. So now I ask you, if you only had a few hours left, what would you do? What would you say? How would you spend your last amount of time alive on this earth? This is what was running through my clouded and very confused mind on the day I died. As the minutes, turned into hours I layed there in that hospital bed. My breathing was softer than usual, as I thought over the past day’s events. My parents had left early that morning, to go to our lake house with my little brother Tommy. I hadn’t wanted to go, because I thought it was childish to go anywhere with your parents. So they let me stay home for the weekend by myself, I went and looked into the fridge and saw that the remains of the milk were gone. I put my jacket and my shoes on, and began the walk up the long hill to the store. When I came close to the store, I began to cross the street, not really thinking of the consequences it would have.

All I remember after that is bright lights coming my way, and pain. Excruciating amounts of pain, running throughout my small frame. A few hours later, I had woken up. I was lying in the small hospital room- breathing my last breathes. I wonder what my parents are doing; it’s weird to think that I won’t see them again. As I think of all the wasted time with them, all those pointless fights, all the things I wouldn’t do because I thought I was too cool for a little bit of quality time. Or Tommy, he asked me numerous times to go out and play catch with him- but all those times I had been busy. Out doing more pointless things, I can’t believe all the things I won’t be able to do. My bucket list won’t get completed. I will not go travelling, I will not work at my dream job, I won’t get married, and the list goes on.  I almost want to cry, because of all the things I won’t get the chance to do. But then I chose not to, because of all the good things that have happened make up for the bad ones. I got to live the life I chose, I got to run, I got to feel the sun’s heat, I got to experience things that some don’t ever get the chance to.

I'm laying here, in this white, four walled hospital room, and I can hear the rain. It’s crashing around, booming, and screaming. The lighting is like nothing I’ve ever heard before, it’s thundering like a mad man. But then, to be completely honest with you, I have never taken time out of my day to appreciate it all. To sit back, and watch the smaller special things. Things like kids laughing, dogs barking, old people in love, and flowers in springtime, or the sun when it tried to come out from behind the clouds. Yes I have always seen them, but I have never taken a step back out of life, just to appreciate it. If you were in my position, what would you say? Are their words that would help fill in the parts you’re not going to be there for? When you think of leaving, and not coming back it becomes your sad and depressing truth. A truth that sooner or later, you are going to have to accept, and move on from. I just wish I had more time, time to tell the people I love them, and I wouldn’t have been the same person without their influence. But I hope I made it clear in my time, which I did spend with everyone. I hope the doctors call my parents after I'm gone from this world. I don’t want them to remember their little girl like this, covered in tubes. I want them to remember someone who was full of life, and alive. Not just alive, but trying her best to live. Not someone who is fighting to try and extend her minutes left of life. Not someone who is hopelessly lying on the hospital bed, with nothing but waiting left. I want Tommy to remember his big sister as someone who goofed around with him, someone who was always there for him when he needed something, or even their when he didn’t need someone. I hope they choose not to bury my body; I don’t want people to come and mourn for me all the time. I want them to celebrate, celebrate the time that I did spend alive and living. When I leave here, I hope I can be a rainbow. So on people darkest days, when they feel like life is just getting too hard for them to be a part of. I will give them something that changes their minds, even if it is for the briefest second in their busy days. Most people would probably be thinking of what’s going to happen after they die. Will there be an afterlife, reincarnation or something like that. But all that is really going through my head right now is a memory.

I was six years old at the time, and my grandpa had gotten tickets to take me to the town’s carnival. We had gone on a lot of the kid rides, and then I saw it. It was this pretty red balloon, at one of the smaller sellers’ carts. My grandpas then choose to buy it for me, and I was just so amazed. A few hours later, I was dancing around in this hay pile that was left out at the carnival- and my balloon started to float away from me. I tried to reach out to it, but it had already gotten too far away from me. My grandpa then whispered to me, that when I was much, much older- and ready to go to the next level of my life. That maybe if I was good, I would see that pretty red balloon again. Several years later, my grandpa had died, and I told him to keep that red balloon safe for me. Because someday, I would see them both again. I know that we wished that I was given more time. But I am a firm believer on, ‘everything in your life will happen for a reason, even if you don’t understand that reason yet.’ I know I should keep trying, and I know that I shouldn’t give up yet. But I'm just so exhausted; my already heavy eyelids get heavier and heavier by the minute. It feels like my whole body wants to completely shut down, on me. I hear doctors coming around, whispering to other doctors. They are saying how sorry they are that they couldn’t do more to help save the young girl that had been a victim of a hit and run accident. They then proceeded to put a heavier liquid through the tubes, which were helping to keep me alive- and one of them lightly whispered goodbye. I know this is the end, for me. This is the last moment that I will be alive, and in this body. For some reason, I'm not afraid of the future; I’m ready for it to happen. I hope I get to see my grandpa again, and hopefully that lovely red balloon too. I faintly hear the rain start to slow down outside the small window. Maybe I’ll leave with the rain, goodbye life. Goodbye family. I want you to know that even if I'm not there with you to talk to, and be with, I will still always be with you. Think of me when you want, and I will be their fighting with you on your side. Tommy, I hope you grow up to be the wonderful man, you were meant to be, I know you will do well in whatever life throws at you. Never lose that wonderful life that always wants to burst from inside of you.

If I had one last thing to say, one last thing to do in these last few moments of my life. It would be to try and really learn to really appreciate all the little things. Never take it for granted, because IT WILL pass you by, if you’re not holding on to it. Here I go, leaving with the rain.  If you only had a few hours left to live your life, what would you do? What would you say? How would you spend your last amount of time alive on this earth? You should think about it, because the truth is- No one ever really knows how much time they have left so if this was your last day, would it have been a great one? If not, go make it something, worth being in.

THE END. 

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