Squid

Chapter One

I was in over my head and I knew unless I did something drastic there was no way I was getting over it, rather him. Yet, there was not many drastic options to do. I could quit being a teachers aid but that would fuck up my course. I could fuck a stranger. I could distance myself as much as possible from him. I could tell him how I felt. There wasn't a good solution. The only thing I could do was to live in pain. Sure, I'm being a little melodramatic but having feelings for the professor I am working for was not on my college bucket list.

Girlfriends and I always joked in high school about the hot teachers but I wasn't being serious and I've heard countless horror stories of students sleeping with their professors but it didn't end well. With Krasinski, it was different. It felt different. Which is stupid. I was just another teachers aid, just another woman he worked with, and more than likely just another girl who had a school girl crush on him. I had to calm down. I had to stop fantasizing about him and romanticizing our relationship.

Did I feel woozy after he sat beside me for hours grading papers? Yes. Did his stupid jokes make me laugh more than I should have? Of course. Did his watch sitting on his wrist make me twinge every time I saw it? Unfortunately. When he talked to other T.A's or even students, I didn't hear him make as many jokes, I didn't see him standing as close to them and I didn't see him rolling up his sleeves like he knew what he was doing to me. None of that means anything. The fact that he has texted me late at night didn't mean anything. Our early morning Waffle House lesson planning didn't mean anything. The fact that he never let me pay for my breakfast didn't mean he was taking me on multiple dates. It was nothing. It was all nothing.

Krasinski doesn't have feelings for me. I have to get over myself and I have to get over him. One more semester with him and I can switch professors. I could handle another semester. I could do this. I could find something drastic or hopefully not so much, to get over him. I wasn't another cliche. I'm not in love with my college professor.