Squid

Chapter Two

"No." I answered, closing my eyes again.

"You don't even know what I'm going to say!" Krasinski laughed.

"Right but the answer is no."

The answer wasn't going to be no and he and I both knew it. I turned my lamp on and got out of bed so I could put some clothes on.

"You wouldn't say no to me."

He was right and I was not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing it so I didn't answer. I put him on speaker so I could move freely around my room while he convinced me to do whatever it was he needed.

"I forgot something on campus."

"Oh c'mon, seriously?"

I found a pair of sweatpants I was definitely going to regret wearing when I saw him and slipped them on.

"Yes, I am so sorry. I tried calling the others but they didn't pick up."

"Of course not," I grumbled as I smelled the long sleeve shirt on the ground and put it on as well. "What did you forget?"

"Do you have a pen nearby?"

"Oh for fucks sake."

"Squid," he whined which didn't effect me one bit. Not one bit. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, yeah," I sighed. "Give me a second."

I threw on a sweatshirt, grabbed my phone off my bed and walked over to my desk so I could write down what he needed. It wasn't going to be a long list but he somehow convinced me to go grocery shopping for him as well. The fact that I'm whipped without even dating him says a lot about how desperate I am but I tried not to think about it.

Shortly after we hung up, I got a notification that he already wired me the money for his groceries. He over did it and I knew that if I said something about it, he would act like it was an accident.

Once we had gotten to know one another last semester I hit a pretty bad rough patch financially and ended up kind of having a mental breakdown about it in front of him. The next time he had me pick up his coffee, he insisted on wiring me the money; he gave me $50 for his one cup of coffee and absolutely refused when I tried to send it back. I even withdrew it from my account and tried to hand it to him and he still didn't accept it. To this day, it makes me tear up thinking about it.

I got my shit together as much as I possibly could and tried not to panic that I looked like an absolute wreck. I knew there wasn't a time limit on getting his things but I hated to make him wait; especially since he has been known to text me multiple times in a row asking where I am which he says are "jokes".  This was my first year as a T.A and between being a student, the T.A position, my job and my melodramatic unrequited love, I was wearing myself thin. I didn't have time for self care.

My once "hardly brushes her hair" chic brunette hair was now a tumbleweed, my skin has been breaking out despite all the water I have been drinking and my glasses were never clean. Since Maine decided to have the coldest of winters, I have been living in sweatpants and sweatshirts. Often times I see the cute girls walking around campus in their fleece lined leggings, multiple layer tops and L.L Bean jackets, I envy them. They all look so well put together and clean. They look like the kind of girl that Krasinski would find cute and that wasn't me.

*

"Squid!" Krasinski yelled from his front porch.

He was wearing slim fitting dark grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt which directly translated into me wanting to die.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to come help your favorite T.A?" I yelled as I opened my trunk.

I saw him pout and was worried he really wasn't going to help me but he slipped on his old man slippers and walked towards me.

"I really appreciate you getting these things for me, Loren."

It felt weird to hear him say my name; he has been calling me Squid since the second week of the school year and he tends to only say Loren when he was serious. I didn't think I could talk with the lump in my throat so I let his comment float away in the cold air; if it floated away then I didn't have to be serious and if we didn't have to be serious then I didn't have to hear the way his voice drops an octave.

We both grabbed as many bags as we could and brought them into his kitchen. He started putting things away so I went back out to my car to close the trunk and get what he needed from his office.

Because the universe hated me, as I closed the trunk I lost my footing on the ground, slipped on some ice and fell right on my back. I shut my eyes tight and tried not to cry due to the searing pain coming in waves from my tailbone up to my head. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and texted Krasinski 'sos' and stayed where I was.

"Oh shit," I heard him yell from his doorway.

"Help," I yelled. "I've fallen and I can't get up!" I joked to try to distract myself.

I felt his hands on mine so I finally opened my eyes and allowed him to help me up. I winced as I straightened up and tried not to die of embarrassment; everyone falls on ice, right?

"Let's get you inside before you break your fucking back."

"Jokes on you I already did."

He sighed my name, my actual name so I kept my mouth shut and let him guide me into his living room. He left me alone but I was in too much pain to think about where he had gone. When he came back, he was carrying a bottle of Tylenol,  a heating pack and a bottle of water.

"Let's take off your sweatshirt," he whispered.

My heart raced at his comment and I reminded myself that he didn't mean anything by it. It wasn't anything. He was just trying to help. I felt like a baby for whimpering when I lifted my arms but he didn't say anything negative about it, he just slowly and carefully rubbed the small of my back until I felt like I was going to fall asleep. All too soon, he moved his hand away and plugged in the heating pack before handing me some Tylenol and a bottle of water.

"Do you know what this means?" I asked after I took the pills. "I'm going to have to sue you."

Krasinski laughed as he helped me lay down on his couch. He put one arm on the other side of me making me close my eyes because I couldn't stand the sight.

"Jokes on you Squid, I don't have any money."

I scoffed and tried not to whimper when I felt him stand up.

"I'm going to get the rest of my stuff from your car and put everything away. Get some rest."

I didn't want to sleep on his couch. I wanted to run away and hide in my own bed and never see his handsome face again. But I was in so much pain and the heating pack was making me more sleepy and to get away from his dreamy brown eyes, I had to close my eyes.