GRIEVING. // falsettos

1

Whizzer remembers that day like yesterday.

The sweat seeping down his face when Marvin and he were engaged in an intense battle of racquetball. He remembers vividly how Marvin hit the floor, with a loud thud while his back was turned. He remembered the panic in Marvin's eyes when he had to drag him to the car cause his legs were to weak to function.

It was almost like the time that he watched Charlotte tell his lover that he probably wouldn't survive through whatever he had. Marvins body was wrecked with guilt he and looked at Whizzer emphatically. Like it was Marvin's fault for him being sick.

Whizzer recalls every moment Marvin would apologize for leaving him. Every time he would tell Whizzer to go home and pretend he was with him, not lying in a hospital bed, waiting till death swept him off his feet.

He recalls Marvin's last breath before he passed. He remembers being held by him in that horribly uncomfortable hospital bed, the only thing covering them was a thin blanket. How pale and thin Marvin was, his dark bags hanging under his eyes like a shadow.

Now Whizzer stands in the rain, next to his friends that he barely knew. Tears streaming down his face like a river. The now painful memories overwhelming his brain and his heart. He stood there, staring at Marvin's gravestone. He read the dates carefully, it all didn't seem real to him. Marvin's death seemed fake to him. He wishes he could just come home to his love and support like everyday, like this all was just a nightmare.

But no.

The man he loves now lies 6ft under, lifeless and still.

and he would never be held in his arms again.

Marvin would never pull him into a soft kiss, giving Whizzer his disgusting morning breath. He would never hug him from behind, and bite his ear teasingly.

He catches a glance at Jason.

He's in tears.

Marvin would never again see Jason fail in his baseball. He would never be proud of him even when he got a C- in a class. Jason would never win against Marvin in a game of chess.

and it broke his heart.

Jason caught Whizzer starring at him and three him a weak smile, trying to hide the pain behind his tears.

He pulled a chess piece out of his pocket. He stepped up to the grave meekly, setting the piece on top. He looked towards me for approval.

Jason spent his last moment with his dad, playing chess.

I nod and smile, more tears seeming to pour down my face. The pain is unbearable at this point. Everything is just too much.

'Marvin Richard Collins'

1950-1982

Why Marvin? Why did God choose this path for him, to go down in flames in less than a year. Right when they seemed like they were happy together, He was taken away from him. and so quickly.

Why him?