GRIEVING. // falsettos

4

hey, im sorry that this is late 😳

---

Whizzer.
--
It's dark outside now, white light from the moon cracks through the blinds and coats the floor of the mainroom. Marvin's cheap perfume is all I can smell as I clutch the jacket close. I could almost feel my lover curled up next to me, his unruly hair intertwined between my fingers. I could almost hear the heavy sighs and hums he let out in his sleep. But when I opened my eyes, he was gone.

I think I'm going crazy. Who knows?

I push myself up off the sofa with a sigh. My legs feel like noodles as I travel towards the kitchen, and I stumble over. I catch myself on the counter, my breathing heavy and my legs shaky. What is happening to me?

The phone rings, the ear splitting tune snapping my focus in half. I lean over to the counter and bring the phone up to my ear.

"Hello, Whizzer Collins speaking?"

"Whizzer, Its Trina." Trina clears her throat, her voice solem and shaky. Was she nervous?

"Trina, how are you?"

"I'm okay. How have you been?" Trina sighs, I can hear Mendel arguing with Jason in the background, can't make out what they are saying.

"I'm...fine." I blurt out, obviously lying.

I can hear her sigh along with a series of pots and pans clanging together. "Jason wanted me to invite you to his next game, if you're up to it?"

"Of course, I'll be there."

"Well, I should get back to it. Goodbye Whizzer."

I don't know what 'it' is, but she hangs up before I can even wish her farewell.

---

I step off the subway, wrapping my jacket tighter around my torso. The cold nipped at my skin as I walked through the station and treaded up the stairs. My eyes now set on the park as I made my way past the crowds of people. I could see Trina's stark yellow sweater brushed up against Mendel's repulsive muddy, gray, cardigan. Charlotte waved to me as I took a seat, scooting close to Cordelia.

"How you been doing?" Cordelia rang out into the cold morning air, splitting the awkward silence between us.

I shrug in response. "Best as I can."

Charlotte nods. I could feel anxiety radiating off of her, her eyes tracing my every move. Her gaze would shift from me to the field everytime I noticed her stare. Is she hiding something?

Before I could even think to ask, Jason waltzes out into view, and my ear drums split open from the sheer power of Trina and Cordelia's cheers.

Soon the game begins, and the boys scramble around the field to find their places. Both teams aren't great, we all knew that but Jason's team seemed to be doing better than usual. I waved to Jason as he treads up to the plate, a bat in his clutch. After the teen gets set up, the ball comes flying towards him.

"Strike one!"

The ball is tossed back to the pitcher, then thrown back at Jason.

"Strike two!"

Jason's tongue hangs outside his mouth, his brows furrowed up intensely.

"Strike three!"

Jason chest rises and falls in defeat, and he saunters off the batter's plate. He soon finds himself in the arms of his mother, her squeezes making the boy's eyes practically pop out of his head.

"Good job honey, you did great." Trina beamed, her eyes glittering with false pride.

"Yeah, whatever." Jason wheezes, tapping her shoulder in hopes to be freed from her death grip.

His eyes fall on me next, worry clouding up in his soft brown eyes. He looked me up and down and his eyes quickly darted away. His eyes were glazed over with worry, climbing up the bleachers and setting himself down next to me.

"Have you been okay?" Jason swallowed.

The obvious answer is no, but I nod. Jason scoffs, unsatisfied.

"Well, I haven't really been taking care of myself." I admit. He seems happier about that.

"I can tell. Have you been feeling alright?" Charlotte asks, peeking her head out from behind Cordelia.

I can feel their eyes pinned on me, even Trina and Mendel were staring directly at me. Why were they acting so strange?

"Yeah, I just haven't been eating too well." I sigh, and stand up. "Thank you for inviting me, but I have to go."

I step down from the bleachers, my shoes scraping against the soft dirt.

"Whizzer, wait-" Mendel spoke up, a small frown on his face.

I turn around to face the group. "What?"

"Take care of yourself, okay? We are here for you." He says warmly.

I nod and walk away from the group, and Jason climbed off the bleachers and went back to the game. The cheers started up again, the smack of a ball striking the ball echoed behind me as I made my way back towards the subway.

Why were they all acting so strange?