Downpour - sequel to Dark Storms

8

8

E r i k a

I woke up dizzy, tired, and feeling like I was going to throw up. "I'm right here, baby. I'm right here." I heard Shawn's voice and turned to see him. He had a bit of stubble like he hadn't shaved in days, and bags under his eyes. I felt like crying again. My eyes watered and Shawn hushed me. I felt Shawn squeeze my hand. "Don't cry, please don't cry." I released a tear looking at him. "I feel like I'm going to throw up." "I know, baby I know." He rubbed my hand gently. "No. You don't. You really don't Shawn." "You're right..." "Yeah. You don't know what it's like to purposefully avoid the mirror because you know that you're not good enough for society or at least your fans. You don't know what it's like to stand in the shower and cry so no one can see your tears. You don't know what it's like to stare at your razor and think of things it wasn't made to do. You don't know how it feels to think about how everyone would react if you were to disappear off the face of the earth. You don't know. You don't know shit." Shawn held his breath before sighing. "I don't want you to have to know what that's like. I really don't. I just want you to be okay.. But I don't know how to get there." I stared into his chocolate brown eyes and shook my head. "I'm hopeless Shawn. I bet you they're lying to me when they say that my cancer is gone. It's probably floating around somewhere in my bloodstream waiting to attack," I spoke starting to cry. " and waiting to take me away to someplace where I'm actually wanted. Because it seems no one wants me." I starting leaning forward into a figurative pit of tears, but Shawn was there to catch me. "I want you. I want you here everyday. I want you by my side. I want to wake up to that face of yours, and I want to hear your laugh for the rest of my life. I want to be the reason for your smile everyday. I want you to be my best friend that I get to call my wife one day. But you need to get through this to get there. There's going to be little you and me's running around one day, but you have to get through this. It's going to get better. It won't happen imeadietly but it's going to happen. Okay?"He whispered in my ear. I nodded. I pulled away enough for him to see my face. I quickly mouthed 'Okay.' He smiled at me and mouthed 'Okay.' too. I looked at him as I pulled away from his arms. I spoke, barely a whisper. "I love you so much." "I love you too." He smiled at me before he pulled me in for a long hug.

It was a couple days before I was able to go home. Shawn had finished Digitour while I was out for the two days. We got home and my dad hugged me tight when I got back. "You're not leaving for a while." I nodded and let Shawn carry me upstairs. I was just too tired to do anything anymore. So I slept. I slept until the day before graduation. I had a medical excuse to miss conmmencment practice so the official last day came and I mustered up enough want to go. I curled my hair, pulled on the required nude heels I had and the red dress I had bought for under it since the girls where white robed and the guys where red. I had to be honest, I was happy to be graduating. I hadn't gotten my acceptance or neglectance from Penn State which concerned me. "There she is." I turned around as I pulled on my 'okay' necklace Shawn got me. "Here let me help." Shawn gently put his hands on my waist turning me around. He took the chain from me and clasped the necklace on. He then returned his hands onto my waist and turned me back around. "You look absolutely gorgeous." "No I-" "Shut up." He then kissed me softly making me smile a bit. He pulled away and smiled. "There's that smile." "Shut up." I mimicked him and kissed him again. We got to commencement and sat through the graduation process. I got to the podium and smiled as they said my name, "Erika Bella Wheeler" I heard Shawn screaming "I LOVE YOU SO FLIPPING MUCH" and fully smiled. I moved the tassel on my hat and headed off, diploma in hand. I was going to take on this world headstrong.