The Cynical Optimist

Dr.Druggie

"Well its good to see that there are the same number as the last few weeks. Took you long enough."

She rose,straightening her pencil skirt as well as her blouse. Each wrinkle immediently smushing back into its alined place in the fabric. I got the strange urge to go and mess up her outfit to the utmost entirety, my eyes weren't too fond of perfect. When I looked into my eyes at the flattened aluminum mirror all I saw were imperfections.

Massive ireconcilable imperfections, you'll never amount to anything. You know what you did, you know what they did. Why are you still here, youre wasting space. Each and every breath that you suck in and exhale could be used by someone useful. Someone who'll find love not you. Well,you do have-

I blinked once.

"Lets go Andie, Dr. Hathaway is waiting for you." She turned walking out of the door,that annoying click following her down the barren hallway.

Ugh, Dr. Hathaway. I prefer to call him 'Dr. Druggie',that man has put me on so many treatments and medicines;pills,chewies,gummies,even......weird green drinks. This man was a not your classical doctor he was a mad scientist, aside from being my therapist.

''ANDIE LETS GO WE DONT HAVE ALL DAY''

My legs left the frame of my door out into the black hallways, every other person jammed in here still sleeping. Dreaming of longing and repetitive wishes, joyrides,boyfriends,and nightmares. You can never tell me nightmares exsist, because they dont. All around, nightmares are essentially the pessimistic versions of dreams. Not complete entities and its rather rude to view them as such. We reached his door, all the confetti and decorated paper were around his door. It was depressingly happy, not 'i just won free ice cream for a month' kind of happy. More like a 'my dog had to get put down, but im happy he's not in pain anymore' kind of happy.

"There you are darling,hi!" Dr. Hathaway came out into the dull hallway whisking me into a hug as if we've known each other for our whole lives. He meant nothing to me,period. I disinterstedly walked into his office onto the vibrant red couch right infront of his desk. Several objects surrounded the couch encasing his strangeness. There were several pieces of unidentified taxidermy as well as the dead butterlies mounted on his walls. It has me wondering if he should be the one getting therapudic help rather than everyone here. But, there was one thing that supplied me with joy which I hold dearly to my heart. Ruby. She is the therapy cat here, she always was interested in me and i was smitten. She was a year old black longhair, her eyes showing the diluted blue on the right and the emerald green on the left. They all said she was deaf in one ear but i truly believe she just selects who she wants to listen to.

Dr. Druggie strolled in, glasses high on his nose and messy hair. His mercades blue eyes landing on mine as he pulled on a huge grin "how are you feeling dear andrea" his brown folder resting on his desk as he swiveled in his jet black rolly chair.

"Two more days"  I say my voice as monotone as can be, i hold a reputation as the undead,dead girl so I hold it proud. But I am excited.

His boisterous grin dwindled into a twisted sad smile "i know, its like me and you have come so far. So....I've gotten this for you" His gaze landed on Ruby lightly flicking her tail. "Ruby, will you do the honors" he said with his smile growing wider. I saw Ruby dip her head into her bedding, grabbing a piece of paper and she bounded onto the couch dropping the paper into my lap. She even threw in a complementary head butt. I opened the paper that seemed to have numbers and letters.

Andrea Simpson:Age 18
Official Adoption of Ruby
Were sad to see you go
xo Hathaway

My eyes did the most unusual thing, they welled up as I stared at the paper. I couldnt believe that he was letting me keep Ruby. "w-wow Mr.Dr-Hathaway, thank you so much I-I cant believe that youre letting me keep her" I scooped up Ruby in my arms,her body purring almost immediatly. Mr. Druggie nodded smiling, as he looked through that dreaded brown folder tears collecting in his own eyes, clearing his throat he said"so I see you've been staying consistant with not cutting,thats good."

My body shuttered, all the excitement draining out of my body as i grimly nodded. The lie evident in my mind but not noticably. I shifted my weight  around distributing it evenly and unevenly as my chest became heavier. The hour seemed to go by dreadfully longer than I preferred.

His voice slowly became hazy as my eyes fixated on my thighs,then to my wrist,then to the ceiling.

Slowly I wouldnt be trapped and hiding anymore, even if that meant he would kill me.