"Ugh." Jade said dramatically, jumping onto the futon and throwing her arm over her face. I ignored her and Jessie glanced at her, but didn't say anything.
"UGH," Jade sighed even more dramatically this time.
"What is it?" I said throwing down my book.
"My mom emailed me," Jade said huffily.
"Wait, you have parents?" I said surprised.
"No, I was conceived in a clam shell like Aphrodite." Jade said with a sarcastic flash of a smile. "Well anyway they set an email saying I need to visit my grandma because they can't go this month."
"You know my mom said that if we ever put her in a home she would rise up from the dead and make us go crazy and put us in a home," I said casually. Though Jade just kinda stared.
"Anywho... It's written in the will that a blood relative has to visit my grandma once a month or all the money goes to Uncle Jerry," Jade said. "And we all hate Jerry."
"Any reason you felt the need to tell me that concerning, but not suprising, fact about your family?" I said.
"You and JESSIE ARE COMING WITH ME." Jade shouted, in order to get Jessie's attention.
"I am not coming with either of you to jail!" Jessie yelled back, walking out of her room wearing a bathrobe and her hair wet.
"Why do you always assume I mean jail? We're just going to go visit my 107 year old grandma, who may or may not be a war criminal, at her nursing home." Jade said.
"You know most roommates ignore each other and don't get intricately involved in each others lives," Jessie said.
"There's free food."
"When are we going?" I said very excitedly all of a sudden. I love free food because I shove it into my purse and than run. When I went to my cousin's wedding three months ago I left with a month worth of food. It is the Barberi way.
"In about..." Jade looked at her phone quickly "2 hours."
"For fucks sake! It takes at least four hours for my hair to dry, dammit!" Jessie said running back into her room to get ready.
"Jade are you going to change?" I said getting up to put on something other than jeans.
"No...? Why would I...?" Jade said. I looked at her outfit and made a face. She was wearing ripped dark jeans, her old leather jacket and a red shirt. "Oh wait, I'm going to put some makeup on." She said, jumping up to go to the bathroom.
---
"Hey dumbasses! We got ten minutes before the train leaves!" Jessie yelled impatiently.
I walked out of my room wearing some clean shirts and jeans. While Jade was still wearing her ripped jeans and the dirty leather jacket, though now with dark plum lipstick and cat eye eyeliner.
"So is your grandma the type of badass lady who does whatever the hell she wants because she's old and you can't tell her what to do, or is she a strict, old, good Christian women?" Jessie said, opening the door to the apartment and holding it open for both of us.
"Both. Whenever I went to church with her she'd pull out her flask and drink from it the entire service."
"WAIT. You went to church?" I said, barely able to contain my laughter.
"Yes I did, Renata Maria Josephina Giovanna Rosalinda Emilia Mary Olivia Stella Aurora-"
"Jade we don't have time to say her full name," Jessie said. "We need to get on the train in six minutes."
YOU ARE READING
Drunk New Yorker
General FictionThree women meet each other at a bar and all are in need of an apartment, this turns them into roommates, this turns them into friends, and this brings situations that your grandma would probably wag her finger at, unless you have a really cool gran...
