Sad Smiles

Chapter 1

You know how you have those memories from when you were little? they don't quite make sense and you're not sure why you remember them so vividly. Maybe because it was a trauma. Or something hilarious. Either way it seems hard to ever forget.

What I'm about to tell you are things I'm never going to forget. Some good and some bad, but all of them ones I'd never wish to forget.

I was 12 when it happened. I was sitting on the smooth, hot leather of the heated front car seat. It was about 3 in the afternoon and my mind was buzzing. I was eager to get home and have a nap. It had been a long, eventful day. I scratched my head and pinched my eyes together to the point where they were almost shut.

I looked at the oncoming cars but couldn't even make out a license plate. My eye sight was getting really bad but I refused to do anything about it. Glasses weren't my thing.

I turned and looked at my dad. His phone was sitting in the cup holder and he kept glancing down at it. He caught me looking at him and smiled. I smiled back and looked out the window. The trees raced by and the leaves seemed to be a mass of colour.

It was mid October but pretty chilly. I wrapped my sweater tighter around my shoulders and saw my sisters arm snake out from the backseat and tap my dad on the shoulder.

"Yes Sweetie?" he asked, glancing back. She pulled out one of her headphones and paused her music. "Can we get McDonalds or something? I'm so hungry and haven't eaten since hockey this morning,"

My dad chuckled and asked her why she was hungry when she didn't even work that hard. He was kidding but she rolled her eyes.

"Thanks daddy," she said sarcastically, and put her headphones back in and diverted her attention outside.

"Oh, and my skates need to be sharpened," she said a little louder.

"Would Burger King be ok instead? We're closer to there," my dad asked, keeping his attention on the cars ahead of him. I picked at the dirt under my nails and adjusted my seatbelt.

"Olive?" He said a little louder. The car came to a stop at an intersection and he turned around and tapped her knee. She jumped and turned away from her iPod. "Ya?" she said, yanking her headphones, this time with force.

She ran her fingers through her pony tail, and winced when she caught a knot.

"I asked if burger kind would be-"

"ew I hate Burger King," she said with disgust. "They have horrible chicken nuggets there and there's nothing else good,"

My dad sighed but reluctantly agreed to turn around and head back to McDonalds.

"I like Burger King," I spoke, turning to my dad.

"We'll go another time without your picky sister back there, don't worry," I just nodded. I wasn't particularity fond of McDonalds but now that I think of it, I was pretty hungry.

"River?!" My sister yelled, she hadn't meant to but considering I could hear her music through her headphones it was probably because of that.

"Yes?!" I yelled back and my dad glared at her so she took out her headphones again.

"Did you know about the new IPod update coming in December?" she asked eagerly, not taking her eyes away from the game she was playing.

"I heard about it but I'm sure it looks very good... it was the ios 7 right?" she nodded and I shook my head.

"Nah it didn't look to good,"

Suddenly, my dad quickly reached into the cup holder and grabbed his phone.

"Stupid thing," he muttered, seeing the missed call from my mom. " Why didn't go off in the car?" He pinched his mouth together and shook his head.

I shrugged even though I knew he wasn't looking at me. The whole car filled with the sound of a call being made, and he told us to be quiet for a second even though we hadn't been talking. He seemed worried and it was putting me on edge.

The call went to voice mail and I looked down at the name on the little screen. Helena "babe" Thompson. I smiled. It was cute.

I looked back up to my dad and he was rapidly clicking on his phone. The call tone filled the car again and the mono tone lady asked him to enter his password for his voicemail.

"You have one unheard message,"

"Hi honey um... it's me. Um," My blood instantly turned cold as I heard my moms voice crack.

"Can you um... please call me back? it's really urgent and um I love you so much Luke ..." By the end of the message she was sobbing and so was I. What was happening?

These thoughts swirled my mind as my dad redialed her number for the third time. She picked up on the fourth ring panting and sobbing. "Hi honey, are you on speaker phone?" Her voice broke and I hoped my dad wouldn't take it off speaker.

"Ya um just a second babe, let me just," His forehead was beaded with sweat and I felt my sister lean into the back of the seat, headphones on the ground. She swallowed hard and I couldn't imagine what was going on in her little 10 year old mind.

My dad took pulled the car into an empty lot by soon to be neighborhood. He clicked a button on his wheel and put his phone to his ear. "Hi honey, what's wrong?" I could sort of make out her sobs through the phone and she was telling my dad about something. I missed her voice.

For the past two weeks she's been on a trip with her friend around the world. It was in morocco when she started to feel a little sick. She had huge canquers all inside her mouth the size of peanuts and by the end of the day there she could barely stand up.

We've all had canquers and the common cold but she insisted we take her to the hospital as soon as she got home. She must've been really out of it as she usually insists she's ok no matter what. She'd just gotten there this morning and hadn't even been to the house yet as we brought her there straight from the airport.

She's been there all day and it was just about an hour ago she insisted we go home. We hesitantly agreed but were going to head back anyway tonight.

I could still hear her sobs and they'd gotten louder. My dad's eyes flicked nervously from me to my sister as his eyes started to get glossy. I felt a shortness of breath. "...they think it's been about a month..."

It felt like the call continued for hours until it finally drew to an end. "I love you so much babe, we'll be there soon,"

There was an inaudible amount of cries from the other as he finally drew the phone from his ear. He slowly swallowed and started up the car. "What's wrong...?" I whispered with concern and he wiped moisture from his eyes.

"Um we're just going right now to visit your mother, ok?"

I ignored his statement. "Is she ok?! what is wrong?"

My sister finally pitched in as well, "What's wrong, what does she have?"

My dad just sat there, finally giving in to the tears. "Let's just go see mommy, ok?"

"What does she have?" I said in a more agitated tone, beginning to raise my voice.

"Daddy!" my sister said in a sob. "What's wrong?"

I started to cry too, "Daddy please, what's wrong?"

He turned off the car and turned towards us. "Um," he said with a swallow trying to stop crying.

"She has leukemia... A type of cancer,"