ENDLESS TEARS

Chapter Seven

One week passed and the idea of being a
maid in my husband’s house was still like a
bomb. Each passing day added to my shock
and dismay at this display of impunity. I have
never felt more like garbage like I did now,
having to work with the maids in the house.
Ever since Corper walked out of my room, I
hadn’t set my eyes on him. I was careful to
ensure that we never happened to be in the
same place together. My hatred for him grew
with each passing day, but my love for him
was not eliminated either. I still could not
understand why thoughts of him still plagued
my dreams. Every time, I entertained the
hope that he would change and love me the
way he professed in the village.
Unfortunately, there was no indication that
this would ever happen.
My pale state and vomiting had made it
known almost immediately I arrived that I
was pregnant. Tina had been very helpful,
encouraging me and making me laugh
whenever my mood turned sour – which was
almost all the time. I had been careful
enough to avoid the subject of my child’s
paternity whenever she tried to bring it up.
Changing the subject had always been my
way out of that sticky situation. Tola, the
cleaner, on the other hand, had been a real
pain in the butt. She never spared a change
to throw well-aimed insults at me. The fact
that I had to share the house chores with
her, instead of making her happy, made her
terribly furious. We became instant enemies
and she never stops expressing her wish that
I would ‘go back to whatever stinking village I
come from’. Even though Tina was
constantly coming to my aid, dealing with
Tola’s sharp mouth along with my other
problems was beginning to really get on my
nerves. The fact that I should naturally be the
madam of the house was what stopped me
from bantering words with her. It was
infuriating that someone who should naturally
report to me was giving me a really tough
time; it made the idea of being a maid sink
in.
One fateful morning, I woke up extremely
early, partly from lack of sleep and also from
the desire to use the general maids’
bathroom before the other girls, since we
had to share bathroom and toilet. I was
certainly in no mood Tola’s ranting. After a
refreshing shower, I dressed myself in the
maids’ uniform and still had too much time
to myself before starting the house chores.
After drinking the bitter village herbs to drive
away nausea and dizziness, I decided to lose
my already rough hair. The ‘all back’ had
lasted way longer than it ought. Loosening it
took just a few minutes and I combed my
hair out, letting the long strands fall freely
past my shoulders. Satisfied that I looked a
bit better than before, even without a mirror
to confirm that, I straightened up my bed and
decided to start the house chores, regardless
of the time.
The work was a good thing for me because it
helped me to keep myself busy and push
away depressing thoughts. I could not
imagine how terrible it would have been if I
had to just sit idle and watch the ticking
hands of the clock. As I cleaned the
furniture, songs of sadness escaped my lips.
Thoughts of corper stayed permanently on
my mind, probably because his picture
frames hung all around the extra-large sitting
room. He had seen the product of our union
as a crime, but I refused to see the life
growing in me as the cause of my sadness.
Notwithstanding the circumstances
surrounding my conception, I vowed to give
my child all the love and care that he or she
deserved. Even if the child never knew the
love of a father, I promised to fill both the
spot of a mother and that of a father in my
child’s life. At first, recapturing corper Bello’s
love had crossed my mind, but considering
all that I was being made to go through, I
was not sure I even felt anything but hate for
him again.
Footsteps alerted me, telling me that I was
not alone. I tensed, knowing exactly who it
was before I even saw him. My thoughts may
have summoned him but his presence
engulfed the entire sitting room, immediately
he started climbing down the steps. What
was he doing up so early? I wished he did
not have such an effect on me and the
admission that I still harbored feelings for
him made me extremely angry. I stopped
singing and cleaned the couch I was
cleaning furiously, with undiluted anger.
“I suppose you were taught how to greet” he
murmured.
My hands stilled slightly, and then
wordlessly, I continued.
“You are not deaf, are you?” he asked as
anger crept into his voice. He must have
some nerves!
I dropped the duster instantly and faced him,
wanting to show him that I was not born
mute. “Excuse me sir, if I remember
correctly, the duties of a maid that was
assigned to me was to clean the house. That
does not include greeting you, does it?”
He clenched his fists dangerously. “Are you
raising your voice at me?” he growled,
advancing menacingly.
I stood my ground. I had entered the lion’s
den; I might as well face the consequences.
“What if I am?” his palm connected with my
cheeks, sending me backwards from the
force. My face burnt bright red and my eyes
had trouble focusing on him as dizziness
gripped me with full force. He grabbed my
neck and dragged me to him and I started
panicking. I don’t think I have ever been this
scared.
“Never” he boomed. “Never you talk back at
me, you hear me? Never” he roared and
pushed me out of his hands. I almost fell flat
on my face from the force of the push and I
stumbled furiously, trying to get my footing.
Immediately I did, I turned and fled into my
room like the devil was at my heels.
Slamming the door forcefully, I collapsed on
my bed, in tears. It had become abundantly
clear now that this is not the Corper I fell in
love with, because the man out there was
nothing more than a monster.
*****