Different Inside and Out

Chapter Six

I stand there for a second, trying to take in everything that just happened. I decide whether or not to chase after him but decide against it. I look around, lost, and then remember where I am and walk quickly to my locker and then first period.

'Maths.' I think to myself as I grab my books and head towards my first class of maths.

All the way throughout first period, I hardly concentrate as I'm still stunned with what happened earlier. No matter how hard I try to listen to the teacher, my mind keeps drifting off to when Ahren almost kissed me, then Joel's face when I made eye contact with him.

As I make my way to second period I suddenly realise I need to snap out of my endless thoughts. The rest of my day was full of work and I didn't think another second about Joel and Ahren. I know my thoughts tried to slither into my mind but I pushed my stupid, overthinking away.

*LATER*

As I make my way home I think about the already homework piling up on my desk and that it's only the second day back.

I arrive at home and push open the door to find no one is there. I go upstairs and start my homework. Just before I'm even halfway through reading my new book, I hear a knock at the door. I rush downstairs and feel hesitant to open the door as I don't have any idea of who it is. I find a surprise as I see the boy standing outside my door.

'Ahren what are you doing here? How...' I ask but he stops me.

'I came here to see you. I need to tell you something.' He tells me impatiently.

'Um okay, come in.' I say hesitantly and lead him up to my room. As soon as I turn around, he grabs my waist and pulls me in tightly. He cups my cheek lightly and I feel his lips almost smash into mine although for some reason I feel a relief. I feel his tongue slither into my mouth and I can't pull back even though I don't think this is right. I feel myself fall back onto my bed I pull back suddenly, no matter how much I don't want to.

'What are you doing Ahren?' I ask him. He stares at me blankly and I can't tell what he's going to do next. 'What did you need to tell me?'

'I didn't know how to tell you I liked you and I just couldn't stop myself from kissing you.' He blushes and I suddenly feel my cheeks going red as well. Before I think any longer, Ahren traces my cheekbones and caresses his finger against my cheek softly.

We both stay silent and I swallow hard while staring at him the entire time while he stares back. My heart is pumping so fast that I feel like it might come out of chest. His eyes meet mine and he skims his lips softly against my own. I shiver although he doesn't notice how nervous I am.

He pulls back away, almost teasing me, but leans back in and kisses me harder than before. My heart feels like it's about to stop when he cups my face in both of his hands and rolls me on top of him. Everything is going so perfectly until we both hear a ringing sound. He pulls away quickly.

'Fuck.' He cusses and reaches down to his jeans and grabs out his flashing phone. Dad. He tosses it to the other side of my bed. 'There is no way in hell I'm getting that at the moment.' He turns back to me and rolls me to his side. All we do is stare at each other for a long time, not awkwardly, not weirdly, but sort of in wonder.

He lifts up his hand and runs his fingers up and down my arm, and I surprisingly find it soothing. I feel my eyes closing as if I'm going to drift off but I snap out of my sleepiness as his lips find mine again, but only for a few seconds.

He pulls me into his welcome arms and keeps them wrapped around me for a very long time. I want to stay in his arms forever.

'What does this mean Jess?' he asks me.

'What do you mean?' I reply, feeling confused.

'You know. Us?' he says with curiosity in his voice. I stay silent for a minute, having no idea what to say.

'I don't know.' I say and mean it. Before he replies to my comment, his phone rings again and he breathes out loudly. He lets go of me and I feel empty for some reason. He answers his phone.

'Hello?... Dad I'm doing something... No I can't come home right now... I don't care... I have important things to do... Why can't you do it... I always do everything for you... Yeah bye... Yeah just don't call me again.' He says with an attitude and when he hangs up the phone he groans.

'Sorry Jess.' He says with his hands rubbing his face in frustration.

'It's okay, really. Are you hungry?' I ask and he nods. 'Okay, let's go get something.' I smile at him and he half-smiles back. I step in closer and kiss him softly. That seems to make him feel better.

I end up spending another two hours with him in my room, talking about school and things in general like music until he brings up his band. I stiffen when I hear Joel's name.

'Yeah I am starting a band with this cool as kid in year 11. His name is Joel Birch. God he's such a good vocalist Jess, so inspiring and being able to work with him is sick. We called the band Amity.' He smiles at me and I try my best to smile back.

'That's cool. What are you going to be doing, like in the band?' I ask, trying to sound happy.

'Back up vocalist and bass guitar. Joel found these two really cool musicians who are able to play lead guitar and drums. Troy I think one of them is but I don't know the other one.' He shrugs and continues. 'Joel will write the music and I can't wait until we perform. You will have to come with me to my first gig!' He suggests.

'Yeah! What sort of music are you gonna play?' I ask curiously.

'Mostly hard rock. Most would call it death metal but I think it's stupid when people call it that.' He says and jokes at the same time. I smile feeling almost excited that he brought up me going with him until I think of Joel and my heart sinks.

The rest of the night is us talking to each other and just spending time together until Ahren thinks he's ready to call it a night. As I walk him to the door, he kisses me swiftly and quietly. He walks away and I wait for my thoughts to creep in.