I love her.
I love to look at her.
I love her hair.
She is art.
In every way.
But not just in a general way.
Not the way you fall in love with everyone.
Not the normal I fall in love.
Not the I need a relationship one.
Its more like a rainy summer day.
When everything cools up outside and the raindrops fall at your window.
It's a relaxing sound.
A beautiful sunrise.
A delicious dinner.
Its so much more that just falling in love.
I didn't notice it at once, but then it got me.
I was falling deeper and deeper.
The thing is, it's just wrong.
And when you got this love.
The one love that everything changes.
Then you don't want to believe it's wrong.
U want to fight for it.
U want to die for it.
Even if it's never going to happen.
Even its impossible to do.
Even if the person didn't even notice you.
Its not just a crush.
Its not just a game.
Its real.
So real that u want to do everything for it.
You listen to music that reminds you of her.
You try to impress her.
You try to share the same interests.
Even if you don't do.
You try to change.
Change for her.
That she likes you.
But that's wrong.
That's the wrong way.
Then if she really wants you, she likes you.
And not the person you trying to be.
Just you.
So be you.
And if she didn't notice how perfect you are.
She's not even worth it.
Try to stay calm.
Even if it's hard to do.
Try to make her smile.
And god I love her smile.
Its warming.
Better that every summer day.
Its home.
And you never want to leave.
But the thing is.
If you can't see it every day it drives, you crazy.
You want to cry.
Ur sad.
Ur maybe depressed.
But the worst of all.
You're not with her.
I love her.
But love means to be happy.
And love means to be sad.
And love means to trust.
Love means to care.
Love means to stay.
And I can't do that.
I'm broken.
I can't be fixed.
So why am I trying to write this shit down.
If I can't even love.
Why do I tell myself I love her?
When I don't even know.
How to love myself.
So, do I really love her?
