THE COOL BREEZE blew back my hair slowly. The air felt kind of good–probably because I had gotten so worked up a few moments ago. I'm sure here in a bit I'll go back to freezing. I'm always that way.
"Here you go." Kurt nudges my arm slightly with his, while holding out a cigarette for me.
"Oh, thank you." I take it out of his hand.
My hand brushed against his. We made eye contact then.
I don't think that was supposed to happen. We both dropped our hands mere seconds later.
"N-No problem." He held the lighter out for me, and I lit up the cigarette.
This is exactly what I needed. A cigarette. A couple of these should definitely do the trick, right?
"I'm sorry if I spooked you earlier." He takes a long drag off of his cigarette, breathing in deeply the lung-killing smoke.
"I just wanted to talk to you." He looked down at his shoes, causing me to glance as well. His converse were pretty warn—though my shoes were no better—in all honesty.
"I-It's fine." I mumble, "My friends were the ones spooked." I let out a soft, painful, chuckle.
"Yeah?" He inquired, before he leaned against the side of the building. He parted his lips slightly, as he blew out the smoke. He then watched as it left into the air.
"Mhm," I nod, staring down at the cigarette in my hand. "They're so p-protective over me."
I knew I should be more appreciative. I mean, I am. It's just that they go overboard sometimes. It gets to be too much.
"Why's that?" Kurt asks.
"I-I uh. I don't know." I lie, shrugging my shoulders.
Yeah, I do know. It's my fault, too, why they're this way. It's all my doing.
"Oh." He says, and I could tell that he was thinking about something. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, while his eyebrows were slightly knitted together.
"My friends worry 'bout me too, sometimes." He says quietly, as he stares down at the ground. He then looked up at me, giving me the smallest of smiles. "They kinda gave up on me though."
I wish the guys would just give up on me. Gosh. They'd leave me alone, finally. Let me be. That's all I want. I want to be left alone.
He took another drag from his cigarette then it was quiet once more for a few more moments. It was peaceful, though. I liked these kinds of moments. Being in a comfortable silence. Sittin here with him is a whole lot better than sitting alone. Even if I do barely know him.
"What got you into playing bass guitar?" He finally spoke, his eyes trailing back up to mine.
I think for a moment. I wanted to just make something to avoid the real truth—my sister—but, if I keep all this lying up then I'm gonna feel bad later on. I can't make friends by lying, can I? What kind of horrible friendship would that turn into?
"M-My sister.." I spoke quietly, nodding my head. "She got me into playin'." A frown formed on my face. I couldn't help it then.
"Oh, really?" Kurt sat up slightly, "Is..she one of the girls in your band?"
My stomach churned. I knew this wouldn't have gone well. I should of said something cliche, like, I wanted to be like Geddy Lee or someone. Damnit.
"N-No," I let out a sigh. "Well, she used to be."
Kurt studied my expression for a moment. He stared and stared; then seemed upset, as if he couldn't find what he was looking for.
"Why not?"
"She d-died." Just saying that made me feel like I could sit there and bawl. It only happened about a month ago. But, I had to keep it together right now. I just had to.
His shoulders dropped, and it looked as if he had just gotten slapped in the face. Regret filled his eyes at first; then sympathy.
"Oh..Serena, I'm so sorry." He spoke so softly, I barely could hear him.
People telling me they're sorry is nice and all but it won't change anything. It won't change how I feel.
When I lost her it was like I lost everything.
"It's okay. I'm okay." I barely speak.
Many people would just leave it at that but Kurt didn't that night.
"No. It's not okay." He sighed, "Serena, you ain't gotta act like stuffs okay around me, cause I get it."
