violent ends ; brandon arreaga

v ; talks

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emerson's pov

"you know the reason for coming here in the first place was so we could talk" alexys came up behind me.

i leaned against the wooden pillar, staring at the stars above, we were getting ready to leave back to the city. i wanted to soak in the desert one last time while the boys were taking the things back to the car. i looked at her and frowned, remembering the exact reason i drove her and the boys out here for two hours.

she nodded her head to the left towards nick and austin who were standing a couple feet away talking quietly. "we asked the rest of the boys to wait in the car" she spoke before we began walking over to nick and austin.

we walked over to them and stood in a circle. we stared at each other for a few seconds before austin cleared his throat, "look i know we met and all but i really do care about you emerson, i mean it. we would never wanna see you hurt or in pain. i know i said this before but i feel like i know you.. and i really hope that i get to figure out how i know you. just wanted to put that out there" he wrapped one arm around my shoulder and pulled me in for a quick hug.

tears welled up in my eyes and i pulled austin closer, burying my face into his neck.

he wrapped his other arm around me, so we were in a proper hug. he rubbed circles on my back and waited for me to settle down before releasing the hug.

i looked at everyone in the circle before pushing myself to speak.

"i-i'm" i paused and wiped away a stray tear, inhaling a breath trying to regain my composure. my gaze met with alexys and her eyes were glossy.

i moved closer next to her and interlocked my arm around hers. she held my hand and awaited to hear what i was about to say.

"i have brain cancer.. there's a tumor and the doctors say they caught it too late so it's inoperable. i have 6 months to live lex, i'm dying. "

♡

after breaking the news to alexys, nick, and austin there were a lot of tears shed; alexys held me for what felt like hours but in reality it was only ten minutes, refusing to let me go.

austin and nick stood motionless, shock written all over their face as they tried to process the information. when they snapped out of their state, they each held me for a long time and cried a little before we realized that we needed to get going because the other boys were waiting on us.

it was hard telling them, considering the fact that no one knew about the disease that was slowly killing me.

i made them promise not to tell the other boys, only wanting a select few people to know for now about the life threatening disease that was now affecting me. i'd tell the others somewhere down the line in the future.

i haven't told my father yet, i was planning to fly back to new york next week to tell him. colby knew that i was struggling this past week, but i only told him about my brutal migraines and nausea.

nick offered to drive the two hours back, which i was grateful for because my eyes were puffy and i was exhausted. nick and i switched places so he was now driving and i was laying across the boy's laps in the backseat. my head was on zion's lap while the rest of my body laid across the others.