It's Only Because I Love You

Chapter Thirteen- I was Wrong

Thirteen-I was Wrong

That day four weeks ago was the most painful day of my life. I had given my heart to someone without even realizing it, and it was suddenly ripped apart. I knew I had to make a choice. A choice to honor my slowly-estranged dad, or a choice to honor my heart, I chose my heart.

But being the goodie-two-shoes I am, I felt guilty about making amends with Derek without talking to my father first. I decided that I would wait up for him one late December evening to talk to him. I sat him down at our kitchen table to talk with him.

“Dad, I know you said I couldn’t have anything to do with Derek-so I want you to hear me out on this,” I looked at him sharply in the eyes. “Dad, Derek means a lot to me, and I think I’ve hurt him. You’ve always taught me that you don’t hurt the people who mean the most to you. He’s the best friend that I’ve ever had. He’s helped me in ways that you can’t even fathom. He always talks about God and helps me understand Him. Dad, he has taught me how to laugh and be happy.”

“When were you ever not happy?

“I thought I always was happy, but then after Leah and I stopped hanging out, I found out that our friendship was a ticking time bomb. She went one way, one that chases after boys and material things, and I went another way. One that’s on a quest for what this life is truly about! Dad, I made the choice to become temporarily lonely, leaving my whole friend group behind, so that I could find out who I really was. And then I met Derek. Dad, as crazy as it sounds, God is starting to make sense to me for the fact that the timing of all these events line up and make perfect sense! I feel like for some reason Derek is supposed to be in my life right now, for some bigger purpose, and you can’t stop that,” we sat in silence for a few moments as my dad was thinking. And for the first time, I started to pray. I started to pray that my dad would understand what I was saying, and that he would let me talk to Derek again, that’s all I wanted.

“Well, Bethany, if you really feel that way, go ahead. Talk to him,” I sat there, stunned, that my father would say that, but I was beyond grateful.

“Really, Dad?”

“Yes, Bethany.”

“Thank you!” I got up, smiled, hugged my dad and walked away. No sooner than that he went to his bedroom to go to bed. I thought about asking him why he was working so late, but I figured I’d better not rock the boat right now.

I ran upstairs with a mix of emotions, but the first thing I did was call Derek. To my surprise, Derek didn’t answer. So I texted him.

Call me ASAP.

I went and laid on my bed and started thinking about the past few months. I mean, Dad didn’t barely even come home from Thanksgiving. I wondered if his work would let him be come home for Christmas. I grew past the stage where I obsessively worried about him, I was now to the point where I was sad that my father had regarded his work over his family. Maybe I was still a little girl who needed her father. The later was for sure.

My thoughts were disrupted by my phone ringing, to my relief, it was Derek.

“Hello,” I answered.

“Hey,” Derek said in a mellow tone.

“I um,” I stammered. “I don’t really know what to say, I’m sorry. Normally I-”

“Why did you call?” Derek said as if he were trying to help me find the words to say.

“I talked to my dad tonight.”

“Is that right?”

“Mhmm.”

“Um, do you want to meet up now?”