It's Only Because I Love You

Chapter Twenty-Three- And This Crazy is Only the Beginning

Twenty-Two-And This Crazy is Only the Beginning

I flew out my front door to see if Derek has stepped outside while I was talking to Jonah, but he was nowhere to be found.

          "Jonah!" I called and ran back to the kitchen. "Jonah, where did Derek go?"

          "What are you talking about?" Jonah said facing me.

          "I went back out to the living room and he wasn't there!"

          "Call him," he said calmly.

          "No! That's...that's-"

          "Just go," Jonah said giving me a push.

          I went back outside to see if I could find him somewhere around the block. How did he get here? Did he drive, could've he drove off? I decided to jog around the block to see if I could catch him in the event that he took off on foot. God, where is he? It was then I heard someone jog up behind me. I turned around and to my relief it was Derek.

"Derek!" I said stopping, catching my breath. "What on earth?"

          "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left, that was my stupidity."

          "Why did you leave? I told you I'd be right back?" He came alongside me and we started walking together.

          "I, I just started to question that I did the right thing by flying back out here. I mean, to be honest-"

          "You expected a different reaction?" Derek nodded. "Listen, I'm sorry too. It's just-"

          "I know, I go from being there for you every day to not talking to you for weeks on end. I get it, I'm sure you were a little mad at me."

          "I was still bitter from you leaving here in the first place."

          "And I totally understand that."

          "And then you just stop talking to me, and it's almost like you never even existed."

          "Bethany," he stopped walking and grabbed my arm, making me stop walking too. "I was a total jerk, and I'm so sorry. There's no one on earth that I want to hurt like I hurt you. Bethany, I came back here just for you. I don't want to lose you. I mean it." I put my head down. So this is what Jonah meant about figuring out my feelings. I couldn't help but smile.

          "Derek, why didn't you tell me you were coming? I mean, I knew you wanted to surprise me, but you know I'm not good being caught off guard like that."

          "I know, it was stupid. And it was stupid of me to expect any other reaction from you. I deserved that kind of welcome. I treated you badly when I went back home. I obviously didn't realize what I had left behind." My heart, much less my brain, was trying to process and understand what Derek was saying to me. His apology made me want to fall back into his arms, but I was too stubborn for that.

          "I mean, I was just starting to get over you," I said quietly.

          "Get over me? Bethany, why?"

          "Think about it, Derek! I hadn't heard from you in weeks and you were a half a world away. Do you think that I thought we had any chance at getting back together? You thought that I would wait for something that was never going to happen?" Jonah's voice popped into my head just then. Don't let this one go. Any guy that flies 23 hours to see you is worth keeping.