In the land of the hopeless [Harry Styles AU]

PROLOGUE

PROLOGUE

"You don't get it, do you?" Harry said tired, exhausted really.

"I can't be away from you. I don't want to be away from you. That doesn't mean that I love you, and it doesn't mean that I want a relationship with you. It just means I simply can't seem to feel complete without you. You have now become something of mine as well, and I can't bring myself to return that to you, to free myself. And it sucks, because you never gave it to me, it was never mine to keep. But I have though. Even if you don't hold something of mine as well. Even if you will never be able to want me the way I want you."

With that, Harry stopped talking and looked at her, eyes dry, mouth open and breathing soundly through it.

"But I do Harry" said a voice coming from a face soaked in tears, those she had been waiting for, for a long time, almost since she had been waiting for release. Aya looked deeply into his eyes, coloured in a green that now looked back at her with an undecifrable emotion hidden in it.

"I know you hold pieces of me with you. I gave them to you long ago, not having the slighest bit of desire in me to do so, but it happened anyway. They were yours to keep the first time you had them in you. But that's not why we are where we are, why we are what we really are. We are here today because I love you. I'm doing what i'm doing because i'm deeply in love with you, and i've not even wanted to stop doing so, i've not even tried; I don't want to.

The thing is, up until today, I couldn't deal with rejection. As from today, I don't care. This is what will make you leave, and I finally made my peace with it. And so I tell you Harry, I tell you this: i'm profundly, completely and utterly in love with you."

Harry, who had been looking at her for the whole time she spoke, was now breathless, lips slightly parted. He stood still for a few moments and then knitted his eye brows together while he let her words sink in. He seemed more and more aware of what she was saying each passing second, until disbelieve was the only emotion that could be seen in his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he whispered.

"Because you wouldn't have stayed. And I wanted you to," she answered with complete honesty.

"So you used me? You broke every promise I made you keep, you broke every promise you made me keep? And you tell me now, just so you can feel at peace with yourself?" The volume in his voice increased, tainted with anger.

"Well, I hope it was worth loosing me, because this man you knew will now feel completely broken and hollow for the rest of his days because he couldn't keep his promises to you, because you broke the one that held the rest together, because he left you to pieces with one goodbye."

They were still looking at each other, still in a world made just for two.

"Oh Harry, it's so much easier than that", Aya said, not crying anymore but just looking at him.

"I was broken when we met, I'm still broken now. You were desperate then, you still are. It is what it is, we are who we are. Two bodies that danced together for a while, to a song we pretended was made only for us, imagining it would never stop. But no song lasts forever, and now reality has set in again. You may not like it, but you also can't change it."

Suddenly, he looked tired. Simply tired, finally admitting what she was saying, because he didn't want to fight himself anymore. "You know i'm going to leave, right?"

"I wouldn't expect any less" she replied without a trace of resentment towards him for doing so.

"I... I..." he tried to speak, but he simply couldn't. He grabbed the door once again, and after resting his head for an instant on it, as if the pain was to much to hold in, he walked out of her room; and as he did, he finished a story as well. The story of Aya and Harry. The story of those who live in a land called the land of the hopeless.    

AUTHORS NOTE: Hi. I don't know if anyone will ever read this story, but here's hoping! The prologue is not the beginning nor the end of this story. The story will begin when Aya has been in London for a year. Please, if you read it, say something so I know wether you like it, or you hate it! xx