Shockwave

Scene 6

 Demetria was lying in bed.

Ariel was lying in bed.

They were both crying. They were both missing each other.

It had been several days after the party, but neither of them were over it. Demetria's heart ached, as did Ariel's.

Demetria thought Ariel was off with the guy, while Ariel thought Demetria had moved on. They were both wrong, but they still went and assumed the worst.

Ariel couldn't control her feelings, and she couldn't continue to deny how she felt. Every day, she would try to ignore Demetria and avoid her, and each day, it would get increasingly harder. After the party, Ariel wasn't even able to go to English class. She was starting to fail the course from her indecision, but she couldn't even bring herself to care. Her internal dilemma was overtaking her mind and soul. She was consumed with it, and she didn't know what to do. She was fighting with herself, and it was a losing battle. She was doomed, and deep within herself, she already knew it.

You can't change who you are, and that was what she was trying to do. You can't decide who to love, and that was what she was trying to do.

She rolled over on to her back and stared at the ceiling. She just missed Demetria. She wanted to hold her in her arms once more. She wanted to feel her soft skin under her fingertips.

She could call her right now. She could apologize for all she'd done. She could tell her how she felt.

Only Demetria probably didn't want her anymore. Her heart sank at the thought. Should she put her heart on the line for it to be crushed?

She didn't know.

———

Meanwhile, Demetria was thinking of Ariel as well. She missed her so much. Demetria's heart lurched every time she thought of Ariel. She had fallen hard for this girl, and she couldn't get back up. She hated herself for loving Ariel; she hated Ariel for not loving her back.

Demetria couldn't stop replaying the words in her mind:

"I thought we were just having fun."

"I'm not gay."

They were killing her from the inside. She never wanted to let someone else determine her own happiness, but here she was, letting it happen. Her heart ached, and she couldn't breathe properly.

She wanted to disappear. She wished she'd never met Ariel. She wished she'd never been born. A small part of her started to whisper "If only you weren't gay."

Demetria let that part speak. She thought of how things would have turned out. She covered her face with her hands. The voice started to become louder and louder. She hated herself for who she was.

Most of all, she hated herself for being gay.