Thoughts Of Me

First of all: Me

I'll just get straight into this and skip all the cringe details about me. My name is Jesse Thomas Jackson (I do lie and say I have a second middle name, James. I do so because it's a cool name I've always wanted, and it makes my name less generic).  I have brown hair, brown eyes, and I"m currently 15 years of age (born in York, Maine). That's all I'm going to say for now because I really don't feel like describing myself and my whole life right away. But there is some things you really should know about me. 

Like how mostly everyone in Niles (Niles, Michigan is where I currently live), thinks I'm a fuck-boy and an idiot. Maybe not my friends but I'm sure I don't have such a good rep. Every time I talk to someone new or someone who I thought I could really be in love with, someone fucks it all u[p by mentioning my past. I mean, taking my past into account, I guess I do deserve this. All throughout middle school and a good amount of freshman year, I was a horrible bully and would normally cheat on the best of girls. I'm not asking you to pity me or anything now but just keep in mind I have changed, and I'm not the same as I used to be. 

I've been through hell, and I still am going through hell, so I figured why not show everyone else my personal slice of hell. Sometimes I think to myself, "If this is hell, who's the devil?". Well in my hell, there is no devil or god. Just a bunch of demons. Horrible demons that destroy my mind and kill me with horrible memories. Don't get me wrong, sometimes the memories are good, but a good percent of the time, they're bad. 

I'll probably get more into my memories in the next part. I really just don't like typing in school. But I kind of have to since my Dad is just taking my computer away when I get home for going to the library with group mates for a project. Thanks Dad! I really needed you to remind me that my life is only more like hell when you take my shit away! He's not actually my Dad, but a step-dad. Usually, step-dads are nicer and more considerate. But he's not that big of a jump between my actual Dad. I guess I should be lucky though because my actual Dad did horrible things to our family. I won't say exactly what he did only because it is too personal to others. I really don't give any cares about my personal life, but when it comes to other people I keep their lives secretive. 

I think I've pretty much described myself good enough. I mean, the only hobbies I currently have are hanging out with friends, watching YouTube or film, and sometimes playing video-games. I've kinda slacked off of video-games because they haven't interested me a lot recently. They used to a lot but now it really doesn't matter. I've taken more social hobbies into account since my depression has grown. It's helped out a lot I suppose, but obviously since I'm writing this, it hasn't helped enough. 

Well I suppose next time I write in this I'll go into more of my recent memories. Or maybe something else if I'm recommended or something. Maybe my life will get better, and I'll type all about it! Thank you for reading my depressing trash. 

~Good-night, Moonlight~

Jesse Jackson