Chapter 4
I can't believe I was so stupid. How could I not think about that? I mean, he fucking told me that he was in a sexual relationship with his landlord. Why did I imagine that I could just show up to his place and he would just take me in? What did I even think that could accomplish? That he would just invite me in, we could have dinner or watch TV and fall asleep together on the couch? Why does the image of that make my stomach churn?
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I knocked on the door, making sure to fix my skirt, as it was wrinkled a little bit from sitting down in my hot car for a few hours driving around.
I hear a very faint “hold on” from the back of the apartment, and few bumps before Jesse stumbles to the door, shirtless, and pants barely hanging on with his hand.
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I felt my face flush with heat. I slapped myself in the face at how awkward that was. Why do I even care? Why did I even make my way over there? What's wrong with me? What world am I in right now where I want to go to Jesse Pinkman's house? None the less, for things to happen?
I almost drove past a stop sign I was so deep in thought. I slammed on my breaks a little too hard for the guy behind me. He honked to let me know.
I waved out my window in an “I'm genuinely sorry” fashion, and eased safely on the acceleration.
The whole drive back to the University I was being tormented by my thoughts.
What the hell is going on with me?
When I arrived in my dorm, one of my roommates Anna glanced up at me from her desk.
I see her scan me while I tossed my keys in my bag and dropped it on the floor, slumping into bed after doing so.
“What's going on, Sierra? I've never seen you like this.” She inquires.
“Nothing. I'll get over it.” I told her.
“You'll get over it faster if you tell me.” Anna says with a smile. Both of us were studying to be therapists. We practiced scenarios on each other all the time, and when we had real problems, we always told each other. Our other roommate, Kara, was gone for the night, she is studying in Marine Biology, and mostly kept to herself or her other friends.
“I'd probably tell you, if I knew what the problem really was. Y'know it's pretty hard to pick your own brain despite how much I do it to others.”
“Oh, tell me about it!” Anna laughed her signature light-hearted laugh. “But really, Sierra, tell me. What happened right before you started feeling like shit?” She asked, toning down her voice a little.
I don't want to tell her. She doesn't know Jesse. But as soon as I mention a boy she's going to freak out because she's been trying to hook me up with a boyfriend for what seems like ages.
Oh what the hell. She's pretty much the only real friend I've got.
“This guy Jesse. I don't like him. But I keep feeling like I do, and I have no idea why this is happening to me. The dude is a douche and his priorities are so out of whack. I don't want anything to do with him or his lifestyle.” I told her about me driving to his apartment and seeing him in his pre-sex glory.
