I turned around and I saw you, you, your glance, your eyes blue as the ocean because I had literally drowned in them. My heart had stopped beating for me, it was beating for you, for your smile, for your fucking eyes, for your fucking soul. And damn, I pretended it was nothing, I hugged you and then we walked. I thought maybe you were just like anyone else, that I would love you like hell and that you would just dump me like a fool, that I would give my heart out for you and that you would just take it and burn it with the flame that's in your eyes. I thought you'd be boring, dead useless, just a guy between the others. But you weren't like that, fuck why are you like this. We went to eat together and I liked it. I admit I didn't really listen because you were always looking at me, with a fucking beautiful glance and it was pissing me off, you were just trying to charm me, you were just trying to get me to love you, and it worked. I was looking at you talk, I was looking at you laugh, I saw in your eyes that you wanted to die, for me hell fuck, for a guy like me. Fuck, it was making me go crazy, that a boy like you cared about me, that a boy that beautiful was you.
We walked again, after eating. You still had a smile on your lips, you were doing it on purpose, but fuck it was a real one and I knew you loved me. I don't know if that's what you wanted but I didn't give a fuck. We hold hands. I squeezed your hand and yuo squeezed it even harder, you won, you clearly had won. Then we sat on a bench, I don't remember which one or where exactly it was, but I know it was a bench. I looked at you, we looked at each other. You saw me before I saw you, you were solidly on a power play, you dissipated my anger, you had my heart, you erased my tears. You just got my hooked, and that's why you kissed me. Wow. I was dead and you brung me back to life, I didn't think it would end one day, but at that moment, it had started.
But after you had to go and me too, our happiness was over. And I looked at you walk away and I knew it wasn't the first time. I didn't know if there would be another one but this one was the good one, this one was mine, this one will put me in so much pain, but a pain that worths it, a tear that will make my soul live...
Fuck you.
You thought it would be beautiful?
- Shawn
