One Too Many Covers

Chapter Six

It had been a year and Natasha's relationship with Steve had completely fractured. She stayed at his side but they couldn't look at each other the same.

Natasha couldn't look at Steve right out of guilt and Steve couldn't look at Natasha without blaming her for what happened.

Clint disappeared off with Scott, dealing with the tragic event by getting off the map with someone he could trust.

Tony went back to the compound and found comfort in Pepper again although his failure haunted him every time he closed his eyes. His mind's eye remembered the way Grant's small chest fell in a shuddering breath only to stay still. He remembered the way Natasha screamed at him out of complete raw emotions.

Pepper didn't know the whole story but she never pressed him, knowing how hard of a topic it was.

Tony never stopped, looking for answers as to what happened to the child. Why he couldn't save him.

Just as his father had never stopped looking for Steve Rogers, Tony would never stop looking for his answers.

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Natasha sat on the hotel bed as Wanda settled next to her, wrapping her arms around her. She might've tensed up and pulled away with a jerk a year ago but as she sank in another wave of depression, she leaned into the other woman.

Wanda sighed and stroked Natasha's short, bleached hair. "You should go see Steve, he's not doing well today." She whispered making the assassin's breath intake sharply.

"You know he doesn't like my company anymore.." Natasha murmured and Wanda rolled her eyes, moving to sit behind her as she massaged her shoulders.

"He's unsure and hasn't been able to reconcile with his feelings. That doesn't mean he hates your company..." Wanda tightened her fingers and groaned a little. "Honestly, Nat.. you two have been avoiding each other since you lost Grant. I know it's hard but you can't give up on each other like this. We're the only family everyone of us has.."

Natasha's eyes fell closed and she rubbed her face. She leaned into Wanda's touches as red tendrils wrapped her body. She smiled gently, feeling Wanda's warm presence around her. She tilted her head and wet her lips slowly. "Grant died exactly a year ago.."

"I know. That's why Steve is taking it so hard today."

Natasha reopened her eyes and gazed at the wall where the wallpaper was crumbling off, baring the drywall under it. She worked her jaw slowly and then pulled away Wanda, moving to stand up.

"Your legs better be taking you to Steve's room," Wanda remarked, her voice firm and warning that she'd drag the woman there if she had to.

Natasha grunted slightly and hugged herself as she padded towards the door.

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah... I'm going- Jesus."

She left Wanda in the room that they shared and then walked down the hallway towards the boys' room. She paused in front of the old door, toes curling into the ratted rug under her feet. You have to be there for him, Nat, she told herself.

Taking a shaking breath as she closed her eyes, her hand moved up to knock on the door. A few tense moments passed before Sam opened the door. He immediately noted the look on Natasha's face, moving aside quickly.

"He's out on the balcony.." He offered a soft smile and Nat gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before making her way outside.

She walked out onto the balcony where Steve leaned against the railing, his shoulders bunched up and tensed. "Hey, big guy.. mind if I join you?" She murmured.

Steve straightened up immediately and ran his fingers through his hair. Natasha stepped out and closed the door behind her, cautiously.

"Steve?" She asked and her voice shook some, waiting for him to acknowledge her. "Steve.. I just want to talk-" She whispered and she walked forward more before Steve whipped around.

Her eyes were wide and her lips trembled as she gazed at the hand that paused centimetres away from her cheek. Steve's eyes were angry and distraught, rimmed in red. His hand started shaking and he curled it into a fist, dropping by his side. Was he actually going to hit Her? Not Steve.. right?

"Why are you here, Natasha? Especially.. especially when today is.. /today/.." He grunted, the words grating as they slipped through clenched teeth, a slight note of guilt in his voice. Natasha lifted her chin and took a shuddering breath.

"I-I wanna say sorry. For being cruel and.. and stupid. For being hard headed and stubborn. For being the reason Grant died because.. because-" She choked on her words as the flood gates opened after many months. She started sobbing as she dug her nails into her palms. She didn't even register when that started to draw blood.

Steve didn't move to console her, he just stood there, studying her body language and analyzing her words.

"Fuck- its... all my god damn fault and- and.." She started hyperventilating as she shook her hands out, turning away. "I'm so, so sorry.."

"Sorry isn't good enough, Romanoff. You stole the one thing I longed for in the world. Hope. Hope for a brighter future.. and.. happiness. A family. A safe place I could escape to."

Each word was pushing the year old knife deeper and deeper into her heart.

A few moments passed and she felt arms wrap around her torso. She started sobbing harder and turned around, leaning into the chest of the person that held her. "Nat.."

It was Sam. Steve had left.

"Nat, it wasn't your fault. How could you have known something like that was going to happen? I can see what you were trying to do." The man murmured and Natasha drew herself closer, hanging onto each and every one of his words even though it wasn't Steve who was saying them.

"I've lost both of them." She looked out at the forested area the balcony watched over. Sam let out a sad sigh and then rubbed the woman's back.

"Steve.. it seems like he is lost to you, I know.. but he isn't. He just needs more time to heal. I'll talk to him. I'll keep talking to him until he can see clearly." He promised and Natasha let out a quiet sigh of relief.

"Okay."