Remembering Sunday

Three

Christopher's POV

I don't ever want to see Celestine again. Just in that short, chaotic first encounter, something awoke in me that had been under a sleeping curse for what seems like my entire life. Touching her, the first person I've touched in months, I think it made me realize just how badly I've missed the presence of others in my life. Whether I hated it or craved more, I don't know, and that looming feeling of the unknown was killing me.

     She was hot, and she seemed nice enough, but I knew better than to trust first impressions. Many a hospital visit in my day were brought about by false first impressions.

     It was late in the afternoon when I awoke, nothing out of the ordinary. There's no one around to bitch at me for sleeping in, and there's no job demanding all my time. It's just me, Jellybean, my vodka, and my mind. And now, Celestine. She's taking up way too much space, though she isn't here in any way but in my head.

     I shuffle from my tiny, rundown room to my tiny, rundown kitchen, the simultaneously best and worst part of my tiny, rundown apartment. I used to love to cook. Now...

     I open the creaky refrigerator door and find nothing but a half empty carton of eggs, a tiny slab of butter, and days old Chinese food that was making the whole kitchen smell. I take out the eggs and have just begun to heat up a buttered frying pan when my phone rings. There's no one else it could be.

     "You know, we just met yesterday. I think this attachment you have to me could be unhealthy."

     Celestine laughs, and a smile unwittingly crosses my lips. A smile? A real smile? What the fuck? I just met this girl, and she's making me smile? No. Fuck that. This isn't supposed to happen. She's got to be fucking with me.

     "Look," I say, rubbing my face and pushing through my hair. "I don't know what you're trying to accomplish, but it won't work. I don't need any friends, any fuck buddies, and certainly not any girlfriends. So, you can kindly back the fuck off, okay? Thanks."

     I go to hang up, and she knows somehow that I'm doing so, because she replies frantically, "No, no, wait! Wait, don't hang up. Hold on. I'm not interested in dating or fucking anyone, especially not someone as presumptuous and rude as you. All I'm trying to do is be nice, but whatever, it's obviously pointless. Bye."

     She hangs up and I only notice then how she had broken the silence that had settled in the apartment. Now it was too quiet, whereas before I had never paid the quiet any mind. Even Jellybean made no sound.

     I've never believed in signs, but I think this is one. I called her back immediately and apologized, holding the phone between my cheek and shoulder so I could fry my eggs. She scoffed and said, "Make up your mind, Christopher. Do you want me to back off or not?"

     Jellybean appeared from nowhere, barking loudly at me and wagging her tail so hard she seemed to be jumping. I rolled my eyes and mumbled to Jellybean, "Alright, I can take a hint. You always do that when it comes to her."

     I return my attention to Celestine and say, "Don't leave me."

     It's so quietly whispered I can barely hear myself, but I said it. I never want to depend on another person like that, but I think I need to. Celestine, she's different. I think. I know that's stupid and cliche and ridiculous, but she's slowly taking over me.

     How? I don't know. Why? I don't know. Will this end well? That I do know.

     Of course it won't. But I need it.

     As I sit and pick at my food, Celestine inquires, "So, Christopher, do you really think so lowly of me to say that I'm only reaching out to you cos I want to fuck you? Cos I don't roll like that, but, hey, I appreciate the personality eval."

    "I have a pretty low opinion of everyone, so don't take it personally."

     "Oh, great. Is there a special reason for that?"

     "Yes, but I'll never tell you."

     "That's okay, I don't want to pry. That's not what friends do."

     I'm stopped short as I feel another smile form on my face. "So we're friends now huh? When did that happen? We just met. You don't think we're rushing things?"

     "I dunno, maybe. But what good is living life without a little adventure, huh? A little taste of the unknown? That's the best part, at least to me."

     Suddenly the eggs on my plate have become endlessly boring, and I push them away to the opposite end of the table. "I disagree. The unknown is the worst. All that fear and anxiety, I don't think I can handle it." The razor-winged butterflies that set up a permanent residence in my stomach some time ago awoke as I contemplated the unknown, and they slashed at my insides, warning me to stay away. My brain and heart were now pitted against each other. What do I do now?

     "Why not put yourself to the test then? How will you know if you don't ever try?"

     Oh, this girl was really pushing me. And I think I liked it. I rose to her challenge, saying, "What, do you plan on doing something about it?"

     "What's your address?"

     "Like I'd tell you."

     "Come on, please?" Celestine begs. "Pleeeeeeeeeeease? I want you to be my adventure buddy. It'll help you break out of your shell and help me get the fuck out of this shitty apartment."

     I groan as I cave in to her pleas, answering, "Fine, but only if I can bring Jellybean." She squeals with glee and I laugh at the silly, high pitched sound before giving her my address. She gasps a little and says, "Oh, awesome, I live like ten minutes away. I'll be right over."

     She hung up and I waited, trapped as the mediator of the vicious battle between my mind and heart. My mind tells me again of the pains I've suffered at the hands and words of alleged friends, but my heart spun fascinating tales of Celestine and how that one seconds long touch set every nerve I've got on fire, and how she's the first person to have made me smile in forever. She even makes me laugh sometimes.

     The war raged on until a soft knock was heard at my door and Jellybean leapt to her feet, sprinting to the door and barking like mad. I answer the door to see Celestine standing there, her dog's leash in hand, looking anywhere but at me, and aiming a spot-on Mona Lisa smile in my direction.

     "How do you know that I'm not gonna murder you while we're out on this adventure?" I ask her, trying my best to ignore how off she seemed. Something was definitely wrong with her, but I could tell I shouldn't ask. She chuckles a little at my question and crouches down to pet Jellybean before answering, "I don't. That's part of the excitement. Let's go, I know just the place."

     I was, to my own surprise, glad to see Celestine again.