Meddlers (South Park) {IkexFirkle}

Chapter 1| Ike

The bottle spins like crazy, round and round and round. Karen's eyes playfully follow the gleaming glass, beaming like a child at the rainbow which bounces off the material. I hold back the urge to explain how it's formed, especially when she jokingly calls it fairy excrement.

However, the thought completely dissolves from my mind when the bottle slows. Almost tauntingly, it drags past Ruby, stopping just as she finishes and I begin.

"Fuck." I groan, dragging my hands down my face as Fillmore cheers.

"Finally!" The jock exclaims, throwing his hands up and almost toppling onto his back. However, I'm completely fine as I get a nice glimpse of his toned stomach (Ruby doesn't seem to mind either, but I daren't point it out). "I'll make you do the grossest shit ever!"

"Don't tell him that, doofus!" Karen complains, jutting out her bottom lip in a cute pout. "Now he'll pick truth for sure."

Ruby sighs. Resting her elbow on her knee, her cheek falls into her palm as she grumbles. "A+ for fitting stereotypes, Filmore."

"Says the ill-tempered redhead." He retorts, surprisingly, swiftly. Ruby merely growls at him. Karen and I chuckle at the interaction, the image of Ruby's pointy and crooked teeth humorous. "Anyway, pick Ike."

As I'm not fond of kissing any of my friends or eating anything unsanitary, I go for the cleaner option like a complete dork.

"Truth." As soon as the word slips past my lips, Fiomore whines like a puppy. I snicker at his obvious disappointment, crossing my arms confidently as my eyes gloss over each of my friends.

What could they possibly ask? It's not like I have any major secrets! Well, other then-

"Whose your current crush?" Karen speaks before my thoughts can continue and I instantly deflate. Like a saggy balloon, I flop into myself and whimper like Filmore.

That.

Fantastic, really.

A stronger word could definitely suffice in order to make the whole situation wreak of sarcasm but Ruby doesn't allow it.

"Come on," she snaps, clapping swiftly. "We haven't got all year."

"This is so lame." Filmore complains into his hands, mumbling obscenities over how lame the whole situation is. As if that could change anything. "This isn't even juicy info; he's probably into Sally."

"Oh, don't make me vomit." Ruby interjects. Although I should be sticking up for my friend, I don't as I'm happy for the distraction.

They really can't know my crush; they'll think I'm insane.

"Hey! Sally isn't that bad." Karen defends her honour (or what little she has left) while Ruby scoffs.

"Don't be stupid; she's mortifying." Fake gagging. She points into her mouth, tongue waggling childishly and index finger mere millimetres away from being soaked in salvia.

I try to stop myself from actually gagging: spit is gross.

"The only think she's got going for her is her rack." Filmore easily disrespects her entirely in a single sentence, Ruby snickering alongside his comment. Karen looks horrified, hand over her mouth.

"Don't talk like that!" She gasps. Filmore barely even reacts to her, shrugging as if a million girls have scolded him for such comments.

In all honesty, it's probably true.

"It's true, Karen." Ruby snickers, teeth gleaming in the light. I can't help but raise an eyebrow.

"And how would you know?" I tease Ruby. Except Ruby Tucker is immune to teasing.