Anti-social 🚫 Jjk

Panick

I walked inside of the cafeteria seeing that she had already been sitting down at our normal spot. I hesitantly walk over there only as I get closer the memory of the girls talking about Y/n, start to come back to my thoughts. I wanted to get it out, I hadn't wanted to think about it, because I had known if I think about it anymore, I will regret talking to her.I will be alone once again, as that's how reality will be towards me. I thought about,but it had been too late, I started questioning myself. It would be the best if I end whatever we have now, before things get worse for her, than they already are. I don't want to be guilty for something that I should have never been apart of in the first place.

Slowing down my pace, as I had walked over to the table. She hadn't caught sight of me, as I was only inches away from her. When I had sat myself down, all of a sudden the thought of guilt had gone through my mind, worrying and worrying about something I should be so concerned about. I had hardly known her but had gotten attached, maybe it was because of the fact of which she is the only one who can see me or even talk to me for this matter. If it where to be another person, I think on if I would have the same attachment if it where to be someone else. Maybe if it was someone else they would never talk to me in the first place.

I hadn't noticed that she was trying to talk to me as I had gotten so lost into my thoughts, I saw as her hand was about to touch mine but I had immediately withdrew my hand from the table to place them down to the sides of hips. I saw her face in slight confusion but I had acted as if nothing had happened.

"You seemed quite lost there."
"Sorry, my bad just thinking I guess."
"That is understandable"

Even talking to her now all I could feel was guilt rushing through my body. I couldn't think straight, all my mind was thinking to stop everything, maybe it would be for the best. I had tried to listen to her a bit but nothing was processing through my mind.

"I don't think we should hang out anymore" the words had slipped out as it was nothing, but I had felt body clench as the words left my mouth. It was very unexpected for Y/n as when I told her she was in the middle of drinking some water, and as soon as I had blurted out those words she had started chocking. Probably due to the fact that it was really out of no where for here. We hung out, and it was fun than all of a sudden I put the news onto her. I knew it was going to end soon, so I had done it on my terms. I saw as her facial expressions became emotionless, her eyes seemed blank, I couldn't tell what she was feeling, but the only thing I was able to discover was she was not enthusiastic about the news.

Y/n POV

The news struck me hard, he is like everyone else. Why did I even try to become friends with him in the first place, all this doubt starting hitting me like a storm. Why did I start trusting people, I hardly knew him, this was bond to happen at some point. I became emotionless in front of him, how was I suppose to act, happy? If that was what he had thought, he had thought wrong. I hadn't trusted people that easily for a long time, I thought he was different. I was honestly considering letting him meet my family. As they knew how I had a hard time making friends, or even really being around other people. He ruined all expectations I had for people. How was I suppose to feel, I felt as if this situation is not any different from my past. People come and go and don't consider how I feel. People my age are inconsiderate, ruthless, and will crush you at any point in time. There will be those who think I am over exaggerating but I'm being serious on this matter.

He was probably waiting for my response but what was I suppose to say, nothing had come up, I was so aggravated I wanted to remove myself from the situation, but something had stopped me. My body wasn't listening to what my brain was telling me, telling me just leave and don't look back, who needs him. How easy that sounds but my body wasn't doing what my mind had wanted. I was still sitting in the seat in front of him as he looks at me, while I still am lost in everything. 'Your just like everyone else' was what I had wanted to say to him right then and there, but I hadn't spoken a word, I let him be the one to say something as clearly I wasn't able too.