I feel at this point we would feel like real adults. We are able to marry, have children, graduate college, get real jobs, and live in our own houses. We can travel, do things by ourselves, and save up for the things that our parents have. Why is it that I'm not. Why is it that I'm not married. I don't have kids. I don't have a house. I don't have funds. I'm stuck in a perpetual childhood that runs on loop. I have all of the responsibilities of being an adult but nothing to show for it. "You're young" or "you're not ready" or "do as I say since I'm older. I've been around." When will I get to be that person? I feel brand new like I've been thrown in something on the first day and I have to wonder what is going to happen to me. I wonder if I'm going to make it. I wonder if anybody cares unless you fail. I wonder if I have to start over. I wonder if I won't have every afternoon planned for me. I wonder if I'll be alone. I wonder if I'll ever grow up. I wonder. I don't want to compare myself to others but how is it that people who don't plan for a second of their life end up finding everything all at once. I wonder if I peaked. And if I did, what did it even look like? I wonder if I'll make a difference. I wonder.
