Finding Warmth

Finding Warmth [guyxguy]

A/N: If I get any notes or such on this I might continue ^^

The bed was cold, memories of panting breaths and sweating bodies flash through his mind as he wakes. The scent of sex all but faded from the cool breeze drifting in through the opened window. The plush room around the waking male is alight with sunshine, the white, brown, and green colour scheme messed up only by the odd scatter of his clothes on the floor. But overall it was empty aside from him despite the warm colours.

Kei could laugh and lie all he wanted but the truth was he was getting sick of these one night stands and the empty feeling he was left with every morning. His hands clenched and unclenched in the blanket enveloping him with its temporary comfort as the whispers of wind slide through his mused hair. He’d been able to deny it for long enough, this need to find a permanent partner, because he knew it was entirely pointless. It was hard enough to find guys that had the same orientation as him, or at least a curiosity of what it was like. So he knew finding one that wanted a relationship would be even harder. He’d used the usual there are others like you pep talk as he’d decided to look for a partner but he found it difficult to believe.

Sighing deeply Kei throws off his blanket with energy he barely feels this early and sits up, slowly sliding his legs over his silk blankets so they touch the ground. The lush carpet is curled between pale toes as he stands and stumbles on shaky legs to his connected bathroom. The cool tile wakes him up a bit more as he gets a towel from the cupboard, lays it on the granite bench and gets into his shower. Starting it he grits his teeth as a reminder from last night slides down his thigh. He was the one who initiated it, usually was, but he never got over how people could just leave so easily.

He’d told himself that if he ever woke up and his partner from the previous night was still there he’d suggest something like a relationship. But as a bitter laugh slides from his mouth and long, slender fingers comb back his hair he admits that’s not going to happen. A permanent gay partner, hell someone he could love would be a dream come true. Turning off the warm spray the blonde emerges from the shower and takes comfort in the fact that he has a few weeks of holidays now, plenty of time to at least try to find someone.

He wasn’t desperate, he didn’t want to think that. But he simply longed for the warmth of another who wouldn’t leave him alone after having their way. Someone who accepted who he was and maybe even liked him for it. But it seemed that was a lot to ask for. Getting dressed after throwing the wet towel onto a rack Kei hums lightly to himself, the solace music brings is always welcome.

Pulling on the denim jacket Kei combs his hair to rid it of knots afore messing it up slightly and heading out of the bathroom. Task one was to check the dating site he joined after work two days ago. Last night was a failed attempt of an interest request he’d accepted but he wouldn’t let it get him down. Sitting onto his computer chair he opens his laptop and slides on the waiting glasses from his table. Opening the usual browser he finds the site and logs in, the tedious waiting time allowing him to glance around his too neat home and sigh.

He was too feminine, as he’d been told, with the way he lived. Clean house, clean rooms, clean car, and clean looks. Was it so abnormal to like things that way just because he was male? Wasn’t he allowed to like being able to see his polished wooden floors rather than piles of books or dirty clothes? He’d been told by girls that it was something they all wanted in a partner, but their high pitch voices and soft looks couldn’t captivate him, not even long enough for a quick screw.

A sound from the laptop draws Kei from his thoughts, with the click of a tongue and tapping fingers he brings up his messages, deleting over half that were obviously purely sex orientated he pauses with the last remaining one. He reads it over, looks at the guys picture, and reads it again. It’s quite similar to the others, the usual ‘what position do you prefer’, and so on were there but there wasn’t an obvious request for immediate sex.

Tapping his fore finger in thought the blonde bites his lip then opens up a reply, deciding to start with basic chat.

Hi, thanks for the interest message, how are you today?

It was an extraordinarily bland message and one he didn’t expect an instant reply for. Sending it he stands and heads for the kitchen for coffee and toast. The usual morning routine was carried out with practiced ease and once he’s washed his dishes he grabs his phone and wallet and heads for the front door, grabbing the house keys off a hanger and only now spotting the note on his door.

Thanks for last night cutie <3

Scowling despite the small pink that dusts across the tips of his ears Kei tears the note down and tosses it into a nearby bin then heads out and locks his door. Walking down the path to the road he takes out his headphones, he hated going to a gym so he often exercised around his neighbourhood or alone. Once the music starts flowing into his ears he grins slightly the beat pumping him up as he stretches, takes a few deep breaths then starts his jog.