From the start [Prequel to That One Hummel]

Finals

[Time skip to the final competition]

I take another quick drink from my hip flask, trying to build up more courage to get out there with the rest of the guys. They all seem to cope without alcohol, why can't I be like that? Why couldn't I have been brave enough to tell Quinn how I feel? Or come out at least. Only a few people know about me right now and I plan on keeping it like that. Quinn's been great, I just don't have the lady balls to tell her that I'm in love with her.
"Max?" I jump and look at Kurt. "What's that?"
"Nothing." I shrug and quickly shove the flask back into my bag.
"You need help."
"Kurt, don't. Let's just get out there and do this." I can feel the alcohol taking effect, I'm already slurring a little.
"After this, you have to talk to dad about getting help." Kurt sighs and helps me up since I can't move.
"I will." I lie and let my twin drag me onto the stage.

"Great show guys!" Mr Shcue grins.
I hide behind a few people, drinking more of the alcohol in my flask. I go to take another sip when it's snatched from my hands.
"What the hell?!" I groan at Santana.
"Stop it." I roll my eyes and try to grab the flask back. "You need help!"
"You need to let me live." I slur.
"Oh really? Let you live when you're in the closet, an alcoholic and in love with your best friend?" Santana snaps. "Yeah, we all noticed you drooling over Quinn and getting protective over her, you need to grow some lady balls!"
I go to take a swing at the Latina, and completely miss from the blur in my eyesight.
"Santana, your mic was on." Finn mumbles. "They heard everything..."
I look between them both, feeling the bile rising in my throat. I gag slightly and shake my head, swallowing the vomit down. I can already feel the adrenaline building up and replacing the drunkenness in my system.
"I could kill you." I growl.
"Guys! Break it up, Quinn's water just broke!" Mr Shcue yells.

I look into the window of the hospital room, I try to hold back tears as everyone surrounds her. I can't go in there, knowing she overheard everything. I look over at my dad and Carol who shake their heads slightly.
"You need help." My dad steps up to me.
"I know." I sigh, pushing hair from my face.
"Tomorrow, I'm sending you to rehab. You can come back after summer."
I nod my head and clear my throat to hide the fact I'm trying not to cry.
"Why didn't you tell me you were gay?"
"I was scared, dad. You always said I was your pretty princess that was gonna find a nice guy." I shrug and look around so I don't have to face him.
"Max, no matter what happens I love you. You're my daughter, it just means you're gonna find a nice girl instead. I already lost your mom, I don't wanna lose you or Kurt either."
I let the words sink in, finally letting myself break down into my dads open arms. I hate hiding things from my dad, he's always been my best friend.
"Max, Quinn wants to see you." Kurt speaks softly while the others leave the room.

I walk into the room slowly, looking at the girl I love who's just laying there with a smile on her face.
"Hey." I speak quietly.
"Don't act like that, come here."
I smile a little and climb up on the bed beside her.
"So, you're in love with me." Quinn speaks.
"Yeah."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I don't know, because you're my straight best friend and you probably wouldn't see me like that." I rush out then shrug.
"How do you know?" Quinn laughs and makes me look at her.
"I don't."
"Exactly, and I think a lot about you. You've been there since the beginning of all of this mess. I think I feel something for you."
I sigh heavily and close my eyes to stop myself breaking down again.
"My dads sending me to rehab over summer."
"I'm glad, you need this. Don't give up."
I nod slowly and open my eyes, letting myself cry in front of my best friend, the girl I love.
"I'll be waiting for you." She whispers.
"Can I kiss you? Before I have to leave for a while." I ask quietly in fear of rejection.
"Of course." Quinn smiles widely and I can't help but smile back at her.
I lean forward, letting our lips meet in the middle. I can already feel myself crying more. This is my last kiss for a while, not because I like kissing...I love Quinn and leaving her is breaking my heart. I don't want to leave, anything could happen and she'll move on. I know I need help, I've realized that for a while. If this is the last kiss I ever get, I think I'd be happy to go.